Why PUA Openers Don’t Work

Why PUA Openers Don't Work At The Art of Charm we get a lot of pickup artist refugees. These are men who tried the PUA approach before finding out that it just doesn’t work. A lot of times, men are frustrated and think that they’re the problem. Nothing could be further from the truth: PUA openers just don’t work. Here’s why and what you can do instead that will.

Bottom Line: They’re Fake

The problem that underlies the PUA approach and is fundamental to why PUA openers don’t work is that they’re fake. They don’t allow you to be who you really are. At the end of the day, everyone wants to be appreciated for who they are, not for a front that they put up. Our approach focuses on letting you be yourself and making sure that you’re always putting your best foot forward.

Let’s briefly talk about PUA openers before we proceed to The Art of Charm’s philosophy on talking to women. Most PUA openers take the form of routines and gambits. In a sense, they’re a bit like little skits that you do for women you’re trying to talk to. This takes a lot of the fun out of meeting people and interacting in a more natural way. After all, isn’t it much easier to be yourself than to try and be something else?

What Does Work Then?

You’ve already experienced that PUA openers just don’t work. Now you want to know what you can substitute in its place. At The Art of Charm, we begin with something we call “banter.”

Banter is light, playful and content-free conversation. The point here is to have fun. So you start talking to a woman, joking around, being a little playful and flirtatious. This allows you to both get comfortable with one another.

More “serious” and personal topics can have people feeling defensive, a natural response to being approached by a stranger in public. On the other hand, banter, which is more playful, allows people to feel at ease precisely because it doesn’t require them to reveal anything personal about themselves.

Banter Lines

The Art of Charm method uses banter lines to begin a conversation. These aren’t pickup lines per se. They’re just ways for you to get a conversational ball rolling. They’re going to be a lot less stressful and a lot more fun for everyone involved.

Examples of banter lines include:

  • “You look like trouble. Do you have any crimes planned for tonight?”
  • “Has anyone ever told you that you would look great with a foot-high purple Mohawk?”
  • “If you could take me anywhere on vacation where would it be?”
  • “I feel like I can trust you… with nothing.”
  • “Did you miss me?”
  • “I feel like we have so much in common that we’d fight all day — and I’d win.”
  • “It’s you! I can’t be seen talking to you again or I’ll get in trouble.”
  • “I hate to do this in front of your friends, but we need to break up.”

The point here is delivery and not what you say. So have a big smile on when you say any of these. The point is to let her know that you’re laidback, fun and not concerned with impressing her. You’re just out to have a good time and this is part of it. Also, these are just a few stock examples. Modify them as you see fit and soon you’ll be coming up with your own.

Situational Banter Lines

Some banter lines are great for specific situations. For example, if she spills something on you:

  • See… this is why we can’t have nice things.
  • It’s ok, you don’t have to be nervous.
  • Relax. You’re going to hurt yourself.
  • It’s a good thing you’re pretty

If she says something silly or ridiculous you can say:

  • Are you at least rich?
  • Looks like someone put their cranky pants on this morning.
  • Something smells great in here. Oh wait, it’s me.
  • You’re a shy girl. You guys need to get her out more.
  • Tell me what else you like about me.

Why Banter Lines?

To review: Banter lines work because they allow both of you to have fun. In social settings, people are often anxious — it’s hard being social. Banter lines lighten the mood and give other people permission to have fun. They also allow you to be yourself. Get the ball rolling, get her smiling, get her laughing and then start getting to know each other. It’s fun and anyone can do it.

Blow up your phone with incoming text messages from women chasing you…

…women who find you irresistible, who wanna hang out with you and are planning dates for you.

If you’re tired of getting rejected and chasing women then…

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