Why You Shouldn’t Flirt on Facebook

Tempted to flirt on Facebook?  You may want to resist that temptation.  While there are plenty of great avenues for flirting with women Facebook is not one of them.  To see why it’s a bad idea to flirt on Facebook, check out the points below.

It’s better to flirt in person

Flirting on Facebook simply isn’t an effective way to flirt.  You can’t utilize things like touch, body language, facial expressions, or vocal tonality – which are huge components in generating attraction.  Without these things it’s easy for the girl to misunderstand the tone of your message.  The sexually suggestive undertones or innuendo you used are more likely to go by unnoticed.  Or they may come across as too direct and aggressive.

So instead of relying on Facebook, flirt with women in-person instead.  If you’re not sure how to do that, begin by simply touching the girl more during the course of your conversation.  Start with light, playful taps around the elbow.  As you both get comfortable with that contact gradually touch her more and for longer periods of time.

It can be a crutch

One of the reasons you shouldn’t rely on Facebook to flirt with women is it might make you less likely to flirt in-person.  If you know you can always just chat with the girl over Facebook you may feel like you don’t need to start flirting with her when she’s actually around.  This would be a huge mistake, because as discussed above flirting in-person is far more effective than flirting online.

To make sure you don’t miss any opportunities to flirt with girls you’re interested in, start following the 2 second rule.  When you see a girl you’d like to meet or flirt with, go up and start talking to her within 2 seconds of seeing her.  Don’t think, just go.  Get in the habit of taking action in-person and you’ll have far more success (and a lot more fun) then if you rely on Facebook.

Your message is easily forgotten

Facebook can be a tough place to make an impression.  There are so many messages and updates to read, stories to click on, and other nonsense that it’s easy for your message to get lost in the shuffle.  All these distractions fighting for the girl’s attention means it’s that much more difficult to make a lasting impression with whatever you say.

If you want to flirt with girls online, a much better place to do it is through online dating sites.  There you’re getting women who are actively looking for fun, flirty conversations.  Your only competition is other men – 90% of whom are all sending the same boring messages.  If you can stand out from these guys by sending short, punchy, flirty messages (preferably messages that prove you actually read her profile) – you’re going to have far more success flirting with women online.

It gets old

It’s fine to occasionally flirt on Facebook, if only  to get the ball rolling, but you‘ll quickly want to take things to another medium.  You’ll want to get her number, or best-case-scenario, meet up in-person.   Otherwise the conversation may start to get old and stale in a hurry.

Now the best time to get that number or ask to meet up is when the conversation is going well – when she’s responsive and engaged.  As for how to do it, you want to be direct and definitive.  Give her a specific time and place to get together.  To make it more enticing, pick a fun place or event to go to.  The more definitive your plans are, and the more fun they are, the more likely she’ll follow through and meet up with you.

It gives a bad impression

Sending a lot of messages over Facebook can give the girl the impression you’ve got nothing better to do than hang out on Facebook all day.  Obviously, that’s not the impression you want to her to have.  You want her to see you as fun guy with a lot going on in his life.  You want her to see you as someone who lives a lifestyle that she’d want to join.

The best way to get girls to see you as having that lifestyle is to actually be that fun guy with a lot going on.  Keep yourself busy doing the activities, hobbies, and social events you enjoy.  As a bonus, by having a lot going on in your life you’ll have an easier time finding fun activities for the two of you to do together.  And since your time will be in high demand, she’ll place a higher value on the time you set aside for her.

It’s a bad place to find girls

Some guys will use Facebook as a place to try and meet women.  They’ll reach out to random girls or friends-of-friends they think are attractive and try to meet and flirt with these women.  The problem is that guys who do this can get a bad reputation with their friends, and waste a lot of time not getting anywhere with these girls.

A much better way to meet women through your friends is to invite your friends over for a party or night on the town.  You can then have each friend invite someone nobody else in the group knows, as a way of expanding everyone’s social circle.  Should they invite that cute friend, you’ll get a much better introduction than if you tried to randomly message her through Facebook.

Tips on flirting

For tips and advice on how to meet and flirt with women, check out the Art of Charm’s Free Insider’s Kit.  From building confidence to creating sexual tension, you’ll learn all the basic tools you need to attract women.  To sign up right now click the “Free Download Here” button on the right of your screen.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

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