Lessons from AoC Bootcamp: Meeting Women Like Never Before

When I was looking into programs designed to help guys meet women, I had something specific in mind.  Learning how to meet women in bars and clubs is nice, but wasn’t necessarily what I wanted.  I was never big into clubs, and while bars are fine, I didn’t want to limit myself to meeting women on Friday and Saturday nights.  What I wanted to get control of was the ability to meet women in the daytime.

More specifically, I wanted to meet women at the gym/yoga studio. I had started yoga few months prior because I thought it would be a good way to meet women.  It is, but I was so afraid of approaching women I couldn’t take advantage of it (though I did end up enjoying yoga for its own sake).

I specifically remember leaving the studio one night as a smokin’ hot girl walked just ahead of me.  I kept thinking I should go talk to her but couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I went home, thoroughly disgusted with myself.  I was fed up watching these opportunities pass me by.  I had been reading/watching everything I could get my hands on that promised to help me meet women, but I wasn’t getting anywhere.  It was clear I couldn’t go it alone anymore.  I called Jordan the next day and signed up for an AoC bootcamp.  I couldn’t afford it and had to borrow money, but fuck it.  I wasn’t going to live like this anymore.

Fast forward a few weeks.  I am five days removed from my bootcamp, exiting that same yoga studio.  This adorable, five-foot-nothing dark haired girl walks out of the studio door a few seconds before me.  I see her and start to think “Oh shit, I have to do this, don’t I?”  Part of me wants to revert to my old habit, say “next time” and walk to my car.  But I’m able to remember all that time and effort I just put in the past week towards getting over this barrier, and it pushes me forward.

Before bootcamp I had very few (probably zero) positive references when it came to approaching women.  Bootcamp gave me a ton.   I remembered how fun it was approaching random girls on the streets of L.A., and how alive I felt doing it.  I remembered the girls that genuinely enjoyed meeting and talking with me.  I remembered the cheers of congratulations I got from the guys in my program after approaching these two super-hot girls on the street late at night.  It didn’t matter that they shot me down; the fact that I was able to push myself to do it was enough.  For a long time I’d known that in any approach I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Now, after having those experiences, I actually felt it.

As soon as I stepped outside I found myself thinking fuck it! and I ran after her.  I was nervous as hell.  My voice was shaky and I had no clue what I’d say.  I blurted out “hey, you’re really cute”.  A big smile came across her face and we chatted for a bit.  She was very friendly and more than willing to move the conversation along.  All I had to do was get that ball rolling.

We exchanged numbers and made plans to meet for coffee the next day.  Her friends happened to be out of town and she didn’t have much going on that night so I brought her to a party.  Yada yada yada it turned out to be a pretty fun weekend.

For me, this was big.  I had never done anything like this before.  I used all the stuff I had learned at AoC, and it worked to perfection.  When it comes to meeting girls in the daytime I know what to do, I know I can do it, and most important of all I’m able to have fun doing it.  One bootcamp had allowed to finally open this door that had been locked shut for 26 years.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating

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