It happens to the best of us: We go up to a girl and start talking to her, buy her a drink and not long after she bounces, only to be seen later with another guy. It doesn’t just happen with drinks at bars: Have you ever brought a girl out for dinner only to leave with the sense that she was more interested in a free meal than the company that went with it?
You’re not alone. If you’ve ever bought a drink for a girl before quickly finding out that she was more interested in the drink than she was in you, you need to read this article to make sure that it never happens again.
Table of contents
Signs She is Interested
There are clear signs that most women give off when they are interested in you. They’re the same if you’ve just bought her a drink or if the two of you are on a date together. Signs that she’s interested in you are simple and straightforward when you know how to look for them:
- She makes eye contact with you.
- She stands close to you.
- She positions her body so that it is facing you, rather than away.
- She touches you, even in simple and “innocent” ways like a touch on the hand.
- She smiles at you or laughs at your jokes.
- She asks you questions.
Note that none of these are the type of “code” that a lot of people will tell you mean that she’s interested. Rather, they’re just simple, straightforward signs of interest. She might not be ready to leave the bar with you, but she’s interested in getting to know you more.
Signs She’s Not Interested
On the other hand, there are clear signs that a woman is not interested in you — clear to those who know how to look for them. Signs that she’s not interested in you include:
Texting or otherwise playing with her phone while the two of you hang out.
Making jokes at your expense or unkind comments even “as a joke.”
Looking around the bar or club to see if there is anyone “better” to talk to.
Avoiding eye contact with you or giving other signs that she’s not really listening.
Showing little interest in you or the conversation — effectively just waiting for her drink.
As you can see, these are all signs that she’s not all that interested and probably just wants that drink.
Excusing Yourself If She’s Not Interested
We generally advise against men buying women drinks as a way to start conversation. The reason being that very few women are going to say no to a man buying them a drink. It’s OK to buy a woman a drink after you and her have been talking and hanging out for a bit. A good rule of thumb is, would you buy a drink for your buddy at this point? Is she already paying attention to you? Is she already showing interest?
If so, go ahead and get her a drink, so long as you remember that it’s not a form of escalation itself. Just a nice gesture from one person to another.
