How to Approach a Woman You’ve Never Met

How to Approach a WomanKnowing how to approach a woman you’ve never met is crucial. After all, you don’t want to limit your social circle to women you already know. Approaching women you don’t know can be a little nerve wracking at first, but once you get used to it you’ll wonder why it ever intimidated you in the first place. How do you get out there and get talking to new women? Read on for The Art of Charm’s simple process on how to approach a girl that any man can learn; it will help you take your game to a new level tonight.

How to approach a woman

Step One: The Walk Up

Your approach doesn’t begin when you start talking to her. It begins when you start walking up to her. This means that you should approach as quickly as possible after you see her to project confidence. Another thing that helps project confidence? Standing up straight with your shoulders back and relaxed. Practice this posture in the mirror for five to ten minutes before you head out for the night. It will help you to call on it when it’s needed.

Step Two: Opening the Interaction

A lot of guys think that they just need the perfect pickup line to really sell themselves. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. When you start talking to her, the point isn’t to “sell yourself.” Rather, it’s to get her laughing, smiling and relaxing around you. So walk up with a big smile on your face and say something kind of silly. We like things like “You look like trouble” or “Thanks for saving me a seat.” The point is to keep it content free and playful.

A big help in this regard is to have a big smile on your face, as we mentioned above. This is something else that’s worth practicing in the mirror for a few minutes before you make the town. Make sure you’re smiling with your whole face, not just your mouth.

Step Three: Commit to the Interaction

Once you start talking to her, you need to be committed to the interaction. What do we mean by committed? Basically, you need to roll with the punches and keep your good humor at the same time. Keep the smile going. Take your silly opening joke to it’s logical conclusion. For example, if she says “Uh… I didn’t save this seat for you” say something like “Really? It has my name on it. Right here. See?” The point is that you can say anything during this stage of the interaction, provided that it’s light, playful and content free. But once you start down a road, follow it to the end.

Step Four: Showing Interest

Some men think that showing interest is a bad idea, that you need to be coy. However, this is far from the truth. You want to show interest, but you need to do it in the right way, at the right time. Once you’ve got her laughing and smiling, it’s time to show interest. Be simple about it. Merely tell her something like “I dig you” or “You seem cool.” This is also the place where you begin building a bridge to more serious conversation. Ask her something open ended like “Tell me three things about yourself I wouldn’t guess” or “What’s your deal?”

The point here is to let her know you’re interested in something other than her appearance.

Step Five: Creating a Connection

Now you’ve done all the heavy lifting in how to approach a girl. Conversation can proceed naturally, but you want to keep a couple things in mind. First, you want to focus on open-ended questions (i.e. “What do you like about where you work?” as opposed to “Where do you work?”). Second, you want to relate back to what she’s saying (“It sounds like your job is hard, but rewarding.”) before you give your side of things (“Mine is easy, but I don’t get a lot out of it.”)

Meeting new women isn’t magic. It’s a series of simple processes that any man can learn and apply. That’s what we teach at The Art of Charm Boot Camps, a week-long class where we teach you the fundamentals to apply to any social situation, such as how to approach a woman you’ve never met, before taking you out to some of the hottest clubs in Los Angeles to put them to the test. Call us today for your free phone consultation where we’ll talk about where you’re at, where you want to be and how we can get you there.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1050 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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