Are Hookup Apps Right for You?

Hookup dating apps are all over the place nowadays.  But does that mean that every guy should use them?  To find out if hookup dating apps are right for you here are two instances when you should use them, followed by three instances of when to avoid them.

If you’re too busy to meet women…

Are you too busy with work and other obligations to go out and meet women in-person?  If so then hookup dating apps are going to be a fantastic resource for you.  They give you a chance to meet women no matter where you are or what time of day it is.  Best part, you’re only meeting women who are actively looking for the same thing you’re looking for.

Now keep in mind you won’t be the only busy person using hookup dating apps.  The girls are busy to – if nothing else, busy sorting out all the matches and messages they’ve been getting from guys.  So in order to cut through the clutter, you’ve got to make sure your profile stands out.  The best way to do this of course is with great pictures.  Use photos that stand out and will grab a girl’s attention.  For example, pictures of you doing an activity, hanging out with your dog, hiking, playing guitar, etc.  Throwing these kinds of pictures into the mix makes your profile much more interesting than if you just used a string of headshots.

If your social circle is stuck…

Your social circle is maybe the best way to meet new women.  But if your social circle hasn’t grown much lately – or if you haven’t been able to meet women through your friends – then it would be a good idea to give hookup dating apps a go.

What most men don’t realize about hooking dating apps is that they can also be used to expand your social circle so you can meet more women that way.  For instance if you meet a cool girl but things just don’t “click”, put her in the “friend-zone”.  Invite her into your group of friends and see if she wants to hang out on a platonic level.  Next thing you know, she’s introducing you to her friends, some of whom may be more your type.

When hookup apps are wrong for you: Know what you really want

Before signing up to use hookup dating apps ask yourself, is casual hookups really something that you want?  Or is it something others are pushing on you?  Or something you just think that you should want?

Because the fact is casual hookups aren’t for everyone.  If you’re not really interested in that experience or lifestyle, don’t force it.  There are plenty of other ways to meet women who are looking for something a bit more serious.  Online dating, for example, is one alternative – especially websites where women have to pay to be a member.  If women are paying for their online dating membership, then you know they’re serious about looking for someone.

You’re coming off a serious breakup

If you’re getting over off a long-term relationship it may be tempting to jump back into the dating world through hookup dating apps.  But the fact is getting over a breakup takes time – often more time than you think you need.  You probably don’t want to start dating just yet as that could keep you from processing through the emotional pain from the breakup.  And without that processing you’re setting yourself up to either get hurt again, or rush into something that just isn’t right for you.

So if you’re getting over a breakup look to rebuild other areas of your life before jumping back into the dating scene.  Spend time with friends doing the hobbies and activities you love.  Learn a new skill.  Focus on taking your career or business to the next level.  Take some time to focus on you and build a life you love that’s complete on its own – without another woman. Then, you’ll be in a great position to start enjoying the dating world.  It’ll be fun (and easy) to start meeting and attracting high-quality women.

It’s a crutch

One last reason to avoid using hookup dating apps is if you’re using them as a crutch – as an excuse to avoid the anxiety of walking up to women in-person.  Rather than giving into the fear and anxiety of approaching women, you should learn to conquer it.  Doing so will not only help you meet more women, but it’ll build confidence and social skills that will positively impact every area of your life.

So what’s the best way to conquer that fear and anxiety?  By getting experience.  With enough experience approaching attractive women will become second nature.  As for how to get that experience, the key is to be consistent and just look to make small improvements each day.

For example, if you get nervous just making eye contact with a woman, start by making and holding eye contact with five women a day (see if you can hold eye contact long enough to determine what color her eyes are).  After you’ve done that for a few days, go a step further and say hi.  Then go further and start conversations with some light, playful banter.  If you can put forth consistent effort and constantly push your interactions further and further, you’ll soon be able to approach attractive women without fear.  (For more on how to approach women with confidence, click here)

More tips and advice

Want more tips and advice on meeting and attracting women?  Then follow the Art of Charm on Facebook.  That way you’ll get updates on all the latest articles, podcasts, and products that will help you take your dating life to the next level.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

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