Don’t Ignore Body Language and Dating

body language and datingA common mistake that men make is to downplay the significance of body language and dating. This is a massive error as body language is one of the most powerful tools you can have when it comes to dating. We’re going to go through the importance of body language and dating, showing you why body language is important, but also how you can make it work for you.

Communication Breakdown: Why Body Language Is Important

When we think of communication, we often think of the words that are used. Particularly as communication becomes more text based, people can see communication as mostly a matter of finding the right words to use. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Only 10 percent of communication is the words that you use. Much more important is your tone of voice (20 percent) and your body language (70 percent).

Consider a simple, common phrase: “Get out of town.” Say this in an aggressive tone of voice, with aggressive body language and it’s a threat. Say it with a lighter tone of voice, with open, friendly body language and it’s a playful jest.

Fundamentals of Body Language

When starting to utilize body language with your dating life, you should concentrate on three fundamentals.

  • Smiling: Practice smiling. Stand in front of a mirror and recall something that made you laugh. See if you can laugh a bit about it, even if it’s forced laughter at first. Then, hold a smile coming out of it. Notice how you’re smiling with your whole face, not just your mouth? This is the type of smile that we want to project to others. Don’t be afraid to put practice in — after all, it makes perfect.
  • Posture: Confident, friendly men stand up straight and tall. Again, stand in front of a mirror and take note of your natural state of posture. Now stand up straight and tall. Imagine a string hooked to the top of your head pulling you up to the sky. Now imagine another string at your feet pulling you down. This is what you want to aim for — straight, open, tall posture that project confidence and openness.
  • Eye Contact: It’s important to make eye contact with people when you’re talking. On the same token, we can make too much eye contact, which can be threatening. A good rule of thumb is to look away every two seconds or so, but don’t kill yourself trying to do this. Just do what comes natural, but avoid behaviors like looking at the ground.

In addition to these fundamentals, there’s another thing you can use to maximize the effectiveness of your body language: The angle of your body. Men often stand directly facing other people when they’re out. You should do this when you first approach, but then pivot to the other person’s side. When you talk to them, turn away a bit. When they talk, lean in to hear them. If you like how the conversation is going, reward them by turning in and giving them a bit more of your bodily attention. You’ll be amazed at how big of a difference a little habit like this can make when it comes to body language and dating.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1175 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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