The bad news? Getting divorced is one of the hardest things you’ll ever go through. The good news? Once the divorce is finalized the worst part is over. Now it’s time for you to get back out there and start living again. While you might be a little gun shy at first, one of the best pieces of dating advice for recently divorced men is just to get back out there and get to it. Once you start moving you aren’t going to want to stop.
Self-Improvement
One of the best ways to spend your time, especially after a divorce, is on self-improvement. Taking classes, reading books, learning new skills and other forms of self-improvement are the perfect channel for your. What’s more, few things are more attractive than you being your best self. Every guy has his “bucket list” of things he wants to learn or ways he wants to improve. Take a little time for yourself and start knocking things off that list.
Get Out There
Again, some of the best dating advice for recently divorced men is just to get out there. Call up your best single guy friends and start making the town. Go into every situation with a positive attitude and lots of energy. Some ways to make a night on the town something to remember:
- Cheers lots of guys. Clinking glasses or giving high fives is a great way to show that you’re carefree. It also makes you look like you know everyone in the room — always a social attractor.
- Make the rounds. Don’t spend your night talking to just one woman. Spend a little bit of time on a lot of different women. It helps to show that you’re not putting all your eggs in one basket.
- Smile. It’s some of the simplest dating advice out there for all men: A big, wide smile that incorporates your entire face is one of the best ways to communicate that you’re fun, playful and nonthreatening. It also releases chemicals in the brain that elevate your mood.
You can’t win the lottery without buying a ticket and you can’t meet women without getting out there. Make it a point to socialize. You’ll be glad you did.
Become a Man of Abundance
One of the things we teach at The Art of Charm is to “act as if.” This is also known as “fake it until you make it.” Far from just wishful thinking, there is a scientific basis to the idea that acting “as if” makes it more likely that you will take on the qualities you are trying to have.
I want you to “act as if” you have an iPhone full of numbers. So many, in fact, that you don’t have room in your life for all the women you talk to. You only have time for the women who are most impressive, most interesting, most attractive and most worth your time. Talk to a woman for a bit, get a conversation going, then regroup with your friends. This will give you more room to walk away and work the room. Eventually, you’ll find that women are chasing you rather than the other way around. This is called an abundance mentality and it’s one of the most powerful weapons you can have in your dating arsenal.
On a related note, don’t be afraid to walk away completely. Set some standards, and then stick to them. If a woman isn’t really doing it for you your time is much better served walking around the room looking for a woman who you’re more interested in. This is the biggest part of cultivating an abundance mentality: Knowing that there are hundreds of women for you to talk to every time you go out.
Be Honest About What You Want
If you could have the “perfect woman” what would she be like to you? Be honest with yourself about this; What are you really looking for? Don’t create an unreasonable list of expectations that will filter out all women. Do, however, have a list of those qualities that you find most desirable and those that you find most undesirable. Knowing what you want will save you a lot of time over the course of a night, a weekend and a lifetime.
