771: Dealing with Competition, Codependency and High Value Conversations – Q&A with Erin Muroski

About Erin Muroski

Erin Muroski is a comedy writer and actor who has taught and performed improv for more than a decade. She created The Art of Charm’s improv program and coached for the company. Her pilot Game won the PAGE International Screenwriting Award for Best Comedy Pilot, and she was a two-time Austin Film Festival finalist and a fellow in the Imagine Impact accelerator.

Key takeaways

• Creative careers move slowly. Every small step forward counts, even when it doesn’t show on your resume.
• Patience matters. Being a big fish in a small pond doesn’t carry over when you move to a bigger one.
• At the Austin Film Festival she went alone and made herself start conversations. It got easier each time.
• Don’t open a conversation with an agenda. First see if you click with the person.
• Approaching people is a career skill for everyone, not just a dating skill.
• Improv helps even if you never perform, because it keeps you out of your comfort zone and thinking on your feet.

  Most of us will never undergo professional training in the world of improve and yet we engage in improv almost every day because life is improv – so why should you consider taking an improv class, how does improv relate to self-development, and how can an improv mindset help you to relax in social situations? What to Listen For

• How do you compete in a place like Hollywood with people who claim to be or do things that they don’t even do?
• How should you approach a conversation with someone you look up to when meeting for the first time and why is it such a bad idea to be a fanboy/girl in such a situation?
• What should your mindset be when first meeting someone and what mindset will likely lead to an undesirable outcome?
• What is the value in learning improv and how does it relate to your path of self-development?
• Why is it counterproductive to try to be funny in improv?
• What signs of codependency can you look for early on in a relationship and what can you do to course correct at that point?
• How can a relationship become codependent and what can you do to prevent it?
• How do you make people want to be around you or simply notice you?
• What can you do to make a great first impression?
• How can you fix a bad first impression?
• What can you do to be confident without coming across as arrogant?
• How do you attract people who want the same things you want out of a fling or relationship?

Improvisational comedy (aka “improv”) is all about going with the flow, and when it comes to life, it is much easier to use the flow of a river to your advantage rather than trying to swim upstream or control the path of the river itself. And this idea applies directly to the conversations we have with people, especially when first meeting someone. Many of you will want to control the direction of a conversation and make sure you are able to highlight the good things about you and what you’ve done, rather than listen to what the other person says and allow the conversation to flow naturally by asking sincere questions and relating to what they’re saying without domineering the discussion itself. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode Episode 770: Leon Logothetis: Traveling the world relying on kindness Episode 767: How to Master Communication in a Relationship Episode 744: Dating Done Right with Evan Marc Katz Episode 705: Don’t Try to Be Funny – The Art of Improv Erin Muroski Erin Muroski on Facebook Erin Muroski on Twitter Erin Muroski on Instagram Final Rose Material – Erin’s podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Best quotes from Erin Muroski

“There are so many steps before having something successful, and it doesn’t mean that you aren’t successful yet.”

Erin Muroski, 11:09

“In Orlando it was this huge fish in a tiny pond.”

Erin Muroski, 11:57

“Patience is such a virtue in this business and it’s not gonna happen overnight.”

Erin Muroski, 12:47

“An approach shouldn’t have an agenda behind it immediately.”

Erin Muroski, 15:13

“It’s just a way to get out of your comfort zone.”

Erin Muroski, 18:22

Erin’s lesson is that walking up to strangers gets easier with reps. The X-Factor Accelerator gives you those reps in a structured way, so you stop sitting on the sidelines.

FAQ

Is improv good for social skills?

Yes. Improv makes you think on your feet, listen and build on what others say, and it keeps you out of your comfort zone, even if you never perform.

How do you start a conversation at a networking event alone?

Erin’s approach: drop the agenda, say you’re there by yourself and wanted to say hi, and ask what the other person is working on.

Who is Erin Muroski?

A comedy writer, actor and improv teacher who created The Art of Charm’s improv program.

Related reading

• Improve Your Communication With Improv Comedy Techniques (Kelly Leonard)
• First Impressions: The Science of Making People Remember You
• Overcoming Anxiety When Meeting New People

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