To succeed, focus on what you want and how to get it, nothing more.
“Your beliefs really shape what you do or don’t do.” -Olaniyi Sobomehin
The Cheat Sheet:
When does discipline really count?
Why success isn’t as complicated as most people think.
A practical exercise to turn fear into confidence.
Why physiology plays such a significant role in our emotional state.
How to get comfortable with pressure and discomfort.
And so much more…
Do you assume that someone who is ultra successful has been lucky or somehow just beaten the odds? Or do you think what they do on a daily basis has been the reason for their success? If it’s the latter, you’d be correct.
Here to share the secrets to succeeding at anything is former NFL great and current head honcho of I’m Not You, Mr. Olaniyi Sobomehin. On episode 417 of The Art of Charm, we talk about the mindset and strategies he has adopted from elite athletes and how you can apply these same techniques to your daily life.
Olaniyi Sobomehin has always zigged when others have zagged. As the middle child in his family, he grew up with brothers who loved soccer. In 7th grade, he fell in love with American football and he would later go on to play with some of the greatest athletes in the NFL.
But along the way, he followed his instincts. When people told him to be realistic or just to focus on the process, he bucked the trend and listened to his own internal voice. Olaniyi did what he wanted to do, and he didn’t let anyone else’s ideas, beliefs, or opinions get in his way.
After finding tremendous success as an athlete — including playing in the NFL with the likes of Drew Brees, among others — Olaniyi retired. Soon after, he started asking himself what was next.
He is an avid reader and takes action on what he reads. He knew the same strategies that made him a success in the NFL would translate off the field as well, and help him find success in his personal and professional life. He saw a need to show younger athletes how to use these tools to dominate their sport, and so I’m Not You was born.
On this episode, we talk about the two things the super successful focus on to be super successful, an exercise on how to turn fear into confidence, and why he surveys his wife and daughter every week!
The two things that the super successful focus on to create their success are what they want, and how they’re going to get it. They don’t let all the things that aren’t working get them down. They don’t find all the reasons they can’t do something or the reasons it hasn’t worked for them in the past; they focus on what they’re going to achieve and how they’re going to do it.
Even with that focus, Olaniyi readily admits fear and anxiety will still creep in. So he’s provided us with a simple exercise to combat those feelings — an exercise he uses himself. He looks at three things; he calls this his triple threat:
How you’re using your body — your physiology.
Check your focus: what are you focused on?
How is your self-talk? What are you saying to yourself about this situation?
Once you’ve answered those questions, he says to imagine your end result. If you’re feeling nervous about making a sales call, for instance, check your body, your focus, and your self-talk.
Then imagine how confident you’ll feel and how great it’ll be when you’ve completed your sales call. Focus on how you’d stand, what you’d do, and what you’d say to yourself if you felt confident and successful with your sales call. Then do and say those things — and exaggerate. You’ve got to really get into this one to combat the fear and anxiety, so do it big!
We also talk about his weekly surveys with his family, how he’s embraced pressure and discomfort as signs of progress, and why being committed to growth is such a great tool for anyone — athlete or not. Check it out on today’s episode of The Art of Charm.
AJ Harbinger - author of 1166 posts on The Art of Charm
AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality.
Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.
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