Crossed arms. Looking away. Most of us learned a dictionary of body language signals, and this Social Intelligence Briefing argues a lot of it is wrong.
AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak walk through why common readings miss, and what to pay attention to instead.
In this episode
- Why crossed arms, a look away or feet pointed at the door can’t tell you what someone meant on their own
- A study of tennis players’ photos: people couldn’t reliably tell winners from losers by the face alone, but could when they saw the body too, a reason not to read one cue in isolation
- The liking gap: after five-minute conversations, people on average thought they’d made a worse impression than their partner reported
- What AJ and Johnny see in coaching video reviews, where clients’ reads of the other person are often completely off
- Why following what the person actually says, and asking about it, tells you more than decoding gestures
Try this after your next conversation
Write down one thing you observed, the meaning you gave it, and one other possible explanation. The point isn’t to replay the night. It’s to notice how quickly an observation turns into a story.
