AoC bootcamp alumni Dave and Tom talk about what it’s like to date as single dads and how AoC training affected them.
“You can be vulnerable while still being confident.” -Dave, single dad
The Cheat Sheet:
- How to be confident and vulnerable with everyone.
- Put an end to “Nice Guy Syndrome” once and for all.
- How to talk with your kids about anything.
- Reframing: how to apply it to everything from traffic to dating.
- How soon do you tell your date about your kids?
- And so much more…
One of the most frequent questions I get asked comes from single dads. They want to know how to date now that they’re fathers. So here to answer that question and to talk about the differences the live training Art of Charm programs have made in their lives are two single dads, Dave and Tom.
Even if you aren’t a dad, this episode is beneficial for you; you’ll hear from two graduates about what their lives were like before doing an AoC training and what their lives were like after. They talk candidly and frankly about themselves, fatherhood, and the AoC programs. Join us for all of this and more on the 345th episode of The Art of Charm.
More About This Show:
As a listener of this show, you most likely know we offer training programs. And if you haven’t taken one yet you may be wondering if they’re worth your time and effort. Rather than talking your ear off ourselves, we’ve brought in two alumni to share what their personal experiences were.
Tom and Dave are both single dads who have taken some of our programs and they both faced similar difficulties before coming in: they weren’t fully present with their kids, they had major difficulties in even talking with women, let alone dating and they generally were looking for better quality relationships than the ones they had. So despite the significant challenges they both signed up and participated in our live programs.
On today’s episode, Dave shares first about his before and after. He says he was incredibly negative and angry all the time, especially with his ex-wife. He allowed her to “walk all over him” with their custodial arrangement of their daughter; she would be late when picking their daughter up after his visits, with no regard to the impact it was having on Dave. But Dave never said anything, he just reacted in a passive-aggressive manner which kept him in a negative, ticked off state around the clock.
But after taking a course with The Art of Charm, Dave realized he needed to set and maintain better boundaries. And not just with ex, with every area of his life including work and his personal relationships. By doing small, simple things over a period of time he grew his confidence so he could set and maintain his boundaries. And he found the courage to have a vulnerable conversation with the mother of his child about how her actions were impacting his life. By being vulnerable with her, and doing it in a courageous way, they were able to calmly work out a better solution for everyone (especially their daughter).
But that wasn’t the only relationship that was positively impacted by Dave’s newfound confidence. His relationship with his daughter changed for the better. He feels much more present when he’s with her, he’s able to give her his undivided attention and to be a strong, positive role model in her life. In response she has blossomed. She’s become outgoing and now makes friends on her own, something she never did before.
Tom has had a similar impact in his own life. As the single dad of a now-teenage boy, Tom was initially floored by his ex-wife’s request for a divorce. Once he got over his shock and dismay they were able to have a healthy relationship and able to easily share custody of their boy. But Tom wasn’t at all prepared to be a single dad.
Before working with The AoC, Tom was consistently worried he wasn’t being a good enough father for his son. He was concerned he wasn’t living up to his full potential and wasn’t being a good example for his boy. And he didn’t feel like he could really talk, connect and bond with his son to the extent he wanted to.
For Tom having a deeper relationship with his son was so important because it was something he never had with his dad, Tom wanted to break the cycle and really be there for his young son. Since participating in The AoC programs Tom is happy to report he and his son take many adventures together, and talk about everything even vulnerable and delicate subjects. Tom is more confident with his son and he’s more confident in public, something his boy has noticed and even commented on.
One thing they both agree on is they are now able to ask for what they want. They no longer act in passive-aggressive ways, they are clear in their communication with everyone from business partners and colleagues to the women they date.
On the topic of dating they both feel far more confident in connecting and dating then they ever have before. Dave says before the program he had gotten two women’s numbers in four years and now he could get two numbers just walking the down the street! And Tom had no clue about how to date after his divorce, but today he’s learned how to chat with a woman and find out if she’s someone he’d want to have a relationship with.
Tom and Dave also discuss the impact these programs have had on their friendships and their general quality of life, have a listen to get the full download! This is a terrific episode for any of you who are single dads, might become fathers or have been thinking about signing up for one of our live training programs. Enjoy, thank you for listening and we’ll see you next time.
Resources from This Episode:
- Transcript for Toolbox | Single Dads (Episode 345)
- AoC live training programs
- The AoC on Twitter
- Dr. Robert Glover | No More Mr. Nice Guy (Episode 145)
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