If you hate networking, pick two people to meet, ask about their work, and follow up with something useful within 48 hours.
If you hate networking, stop trying to work the room. Pick two or three people to meet, ask about their work, and follow up within 48 hours with something useful. Networking is just building a few real relationships over time, and that fits quieter people well.
Want a baseline? The Influence Index is a free quiz that scores five social skills. Take the Influence Index quiz.
Why networking feels gross
You love your work, but your industry runs on relationships and events feel fake. The problem isn’t you. It’s the badge-swapping version of networking.
Go small, not wide
Set a goal of two good conversations per event. Then you can leave.
Ask about their work
“What are you working on right now?” beats “What do you do?” It invites a story.
Hating networking costs you deals and opportunities. The same relationship skills work in business development. Practice it with coaching in the X-Factor Accelerator: 90 days. The same skills show up at work. THEOS, the Elite Operators System is eight weeks of live installation: diagnostic 1:1, live sessions every Tuesday, and a help desk between sessions.
Bring one thing to give
An article, an intro, a tip. Giving takes the pressure off asking.
Follow up in 48 hours
Short message, one detail from the talk, one next step. Most people never follow up, so you’ll stand out.
Keep in touch on a schedule
Ten minutes a week. A quick note to three people. Relationships grow from small, steady contact.
Next step
Read next
More Social confidence articles- Art of Personal Development
Why Do I Never Get Invited to Anything? 6 Real Reasons
Why do I never get invited to anything? Six common reasons, a self-check, a 4-week plan and scripts to get included without begging. - Art of Personal Development
Liked but Not Respected: Why It Happens and the Fix
Liked but not respected? See the signs, the causes (people-pleasing, weak boundaries, no follow-through) and the fixes that earn respect. - Art of Personal Development
Why Do I Feel Invisible to People? A Guide for Men
Why do I feel invisible to people? Common causes like people-pleasing and staying small, plus practical steps to be seen and remembered. - Art of Personal Development
Chris Hadnagy Podcast: Build Trust With Social Engineering
Social engineer Christopher Hadnagy on the Art of Charm podcast: the four questions strangers ask, pretexting for real life, and why compliments backfire. - Executive presence
Executive Presence: What It Really Means and How to Develop It
Executive presence is how people read you when you're being watched. What it means, why strengths can undermine it, and how to develop it with self-awareness. - Conversation
75 Deep Conversation Starters (and How to Set Them Up)
Deep questions only work with the right setup. Get 75 starters sorted by situation, plus the two-step move that makes them land instead of landing flat.