If you’re like a lot of men learning social dynamics, you’ve probably read a lot about the “alpha male.” Like a lot of men, you might have problems with the concept of an alpha male. The good news is that if the typical alpha male traits don’t sit well with you, you’re not alone. The alpha male concept isn’t the best idea to come down the pike in a while — and we’ve got some things that are going to work even better.
Why the “Alpha Male” Concept is Flawed
The “alpha male” concept is based on a form of junk science that attempts to blindly port something in non-human anthropology into human anthropology. A much more relevant concept is that of the “big man,” who is a man who has social value and the ability to get others to do things for him. We call this the “high value man.” It’s a man that makes others feel like a million bucks.
Do Women Like Jerks?
Another common concept that you encounter among “alpha male” types is the idea that “women like jerks” or something similar. In fact, it’s just the case that guys who are “jerks” tend to be more outgoing and talk to more women than the average guy. We want you to talk to more women, yes, but we want you to be charming — not aggressive or rude.
Confidence is the Killer
The quality that men really want when they talk about alpha male traits is confidence. The great think about confidence is that it can be a set of behaviors that you learn as well as something that you just have. Some men are born with these alpha male traits; Others can learn how to project it over time. There are two main ways that any man can communicate confidence, thus be seen as confident and in turn feel more confident.
Step 1: Your Walk
Walking tall, with purpose and confidence makes you appear to be confident and “alpha” even before you open your mouth. This is perhaps the most important way to communicate your confidence, because it’s something that people see before you start talking. Remember that the attraction process begins when she sees you, not the other way around. Work on your posture, but also look at how men that you admire walk. Don’t be afraid to copy them a little bit as you start out.
Step 2: Your Talk
Talking slowly, clearly and at an audible volume are other key ways to appear confident, even if you aren’t. This, combined with a tall bar walk will make you look confident before you actually feel confident.