Body language gets preached a lot at AoC. During the week we learned how to use positive/negative body language to build attraction and escalate with women. We also learned all about how the postures we take on can affect our internal state. If you’ve listened to the podcast you’ve heard Jordan talk about how the mind follows the body and the body follows the mind. I remember learning about this stuff in my psychology classes in college, but never made an effort to put it into practice until AoC.
The instructors often stressed the importance of keeping a smile on my face and maintaining a posture that reflects confidence. They suggested anchoring this body language to doorways – so every time I walked through a doorway I’d remember to put my chin up, shoulders down and back, and to smile. I did this throughout bootcamp and for the weeks following.
There were times when I thought this exercise was stupid, and times when I thought it might actually be helping. Then I went across the country to visit some friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. Taking a break from my day to day routine, going to a different place and surrounding myself with different people showed me the difference that had been made.
I met up with a couple and we piled into the car to have dinner at our buddy’s house. The time passed quickly as we caught up and began bullshitting with one another. We got to our friends house and spent the next few hours eating, drinking, and being merry. It was your standard fun night in with old friends.
As we were driving home my friends started to get annoyed with one another as they bickered about some political nonsense. I didn’t join in, and just sat back laughing at how absurd it all was. That’s when I realized something: throughout the whole night I had been having way more fun than everyone else.
There had been various points in the night were people would get agitated and squabble or argue for a bit. The guys who weren’t involved in the argument would roll their eyes in annoyance, praying for it to end. There were also times guys would disengage from a conversation or get bored. Normally I’d have these reactions too, but this time I didn’t. I found everybody and everything amusing and interesting.
The only explanation I could think up for why this happened was all that practice with positive body language. I made the point to hold a smile multiple times throughout the day for weeks at a time. All that practice made it so I was constantly in a state where a smile was itching to come out. My body was always smiling, and my mind was following the body. I was able to find joy in everything that was around.
The confident body language also played a role in my ability to be detached from arguments rather than get wrapped up in them. I was able to brush aside any comments or arguments that normally would have caused me to take offense or overreact. All that practice feeling confident allowed me to simply not give any fucks about anything anybody said that was contrary to my own views.
Everyone had the same goal that night as we were all looking to just hang out and have a good time. While the other guys would waiver from that every now and then, I was unshakable. I spent the whole night with my head up, shoulders back and a big fucking smile on my face. It didn’t take any effort, all that had been done in the weeks prior. My body was programmed to be happy and confident. It’s what made it so easy for me to sit back and enjoy the night.