There are some relationship red flags for men to look out for that will save a lot of trouble and heartache. By catching these signs early on you save yourself from getting involved with a girl who turns out to be a disaster down the road. To make sure you don’t wind up with a girl like that, here are some relationship red flags for men to lookout for.
Her relationship with her parents
One relationship red flag for men to be on the lookout for is how a girl was raised. The fact is that as kids we model the relationship patterns we learn from the adults in our lives (primarily our parents). If she has a rocky relationship with her parents and was brought up surrounded by stress and drama, there’s a good chance that’ll carry over to her future relationships.
Now this can be a touchy subject to ask about directly. To help you get a glimpse into the relationship patterns she was exposed to start by asking simple questions like “What were you like as a kid?” or “Are you close with your family?” These are good ‘getting to know each other’ questions worth asking for their own sake. They also open the door for you to learn more about relationship patterns she’s had in her life.
If a girl has a history of bad breakups, watch out. This is a definite relationship red flag for men because if that’s her relationship pattern, it likely means you’re headed down that same road.
Of course there is a chance that she’s done some work on herself and eliminated the root cause of this pattern. But if not – if she insists that it’s always the guy’s fault that the relationships ends poorly – then you may be in trouble. After all, if she can’t see that she is the only common denominator in all these messy breakups then it’s likely she’ll continue this pattern. It’s only a matter of time until she talks about you the same way she talks about all her other ex’s.
History of cheating
Cheating is an obvious relationship red flag for men that is all-too-often ignored. Guys will think “sure she’s cheated in the past… but that was just a one-time thing” or “things are different now…” But if a girl has a history of cheating there’s a good chance she’ll cheat more in the future, too.
When someone cheats in a relationship there’s a reason behind it. If that underlying reason isn’t addressed and dealt with, chances are it’ll happen again. So if a girl has a history of cheating and all she learned was that it was “a mistake that won’t happen again”, that’s a sign she hasn’t addressed the root-cause. And there’s a decent chance it’ll happen again.
You’re doing all the work
A good relationship isn’t going to feel like constant work. You don’t want to feel like you’re always the one trying to make conversation, get together, or take things further. For a relationship to work she’s got to be proactive and make an effort to engage with you as well.
To test just how interested the girl is take a step back and let her be the one to initiate conversation or plan your next get-together. If you back off and she doesn’t pick up the slack then it’s a good sign she isn’t really engaged. You’re better off finding someone else who values your time and attention. (For tips on how to meet that next woman, click here)
What she talks about
Pay close attention to the types of things a girl talks about. You don’t want to wind up dating a girl who is always gossiping, putting other people down, complaining, or blaming others for everything that goes wrong in her life. This is a huge relationship red flag for men because as time goes on it’s only going to get worse. If you’re always around this kind of negativity it will completely zap your energy and your relationship will start to feel like a drain on your life.
You quickly become her whole life
It’s a definite relationship red flag for men if the girl you’re dating has no life outside of you. After all you don’t need a girl who guilt-trips you anytime you hang out with your friends. If she doesn’t know what to do with herself when you’re not around, that’s not your problem. Spend your quality time together and if what you have to give isn’t enough, then perhaps this just isn’t meant to be. If you can’t talk things out, you may just want to cut your losses and move on before things get worse.
You can’t be yourself
Not all relationship red flags for men to lookout for have to do with a woman’s past or current behavior. Sometimes the best way to spot these red flags is by taking a moment to check in with yourself and how you feel in the relationship.
For example, some guys feel like they’re constantly “walking on egg shells” in their relationship. They’re worried about saying/doing the wrong thing and upsetting their girl. If you find yourself feeling that way then the relationship you’re in is going to make you miserable. Take that as a sign that it’s time to speak your mind and do more of the things you want to do. You may find that your girl actually enjoys this side of you, and is happy you see you unleash your authentic self. If not, if she gets upset as you feared, then it’s time to move on. The truth is you’re better off being single than being trapped in a relationship where you’re not free to be and express your authentic self.
More red flags
Want to learn more about relationship red flags for men? If so, check out this article on red flags to watch out for in online dating.