Are you a guy who is OK with women but is often unsure on how to move toward that first kiss? You’re not alone. In fact, knowing how to escalate for the first kiss is one of the most common questions that we get here at The Art of Charm. Being that this is such a common challenge for men, we decided to write something up to help you learn how to escalate toward the first kiss.
Touching Starts Early On
One thing that holds a lot of guys back with women generally is not breaking the touch barrier early. There are ways you can begin touching that are super innocuous and allow you to create a stronger bond between you and the woman you’re talking to. We’re talking about things like touching her arms, upper back or shoulders. No one is going to get angry with you if you playfully touch her shoulder while you talk to her. So what’s the point of doing that?
Two things: First, you create a stronger connection between the two of you. In fact, you shouldn’t be surprised if she starts touching you back a lot more. You’re in effect giving her permission to touch you. Second, you’re starting down the road of physical intimacy. You’re basically beginning the escalation of physical touch with really simple touches. Believe me when I say that it’s going to make kissing her later a lot easier.
Touching Continues Throughout the Night
Whether it’s out on the dancefloor, or a massage near or the bar or “almost” kissing her, touching should continue to escalate throughout the night. You’ll find that escalating throughout the night isn’t just easier than leaning in and kissing her at the end of the date — it’s also significantly less awkward. So go ahead and keep the touch going. She’ll let you know, either with her words or her body, if it’s not working for her. If in doubt, err on the side of caution. You want to escalate physically, but you want to always be pushing the envelope forward.
Going for the Kiss
It’s good to wait for a high point rather than the end of the night to get a first kiss. Keep your eyes peeled for the right opportunity. You also need to remember that there’s no objective “right time.” In fact, a lot of this is about you making the right time. Basically, when you see the opportunity, you need to take it rather than kicking the can down the road, hoping for an even better time. Trust your gut and know that you’ll recognize the right time when it comes.
What If She Doesn’t Kiss You Back?
Two things: First, you’ve learned that she’s not that interested. Now you can move on to women who are going to be more interested in you. Second, accept that this will probably happen to you at least once. Big deal. It’s a lot better than going out and not knowing because you never made your move or even worse, getting friendzoned because she didn’t think you were interested back.
