When planning a first date it can be tempting to fall back on that common piece of dating advice that men have been following basically since dating was invented: just take the girl out to dinner and a movie.
For some guys this means first picking the perfect restaurant. They think they need to go to the swankiest place around, where the table water is flown in directly from an endangered Arctic glacier and the chefs spend more time making the food look pretty as they do cooking it. It’s not a place they’d ever go to themselves, but damn it they got a lady to impress! Once the $100 dinner is over, it’s off to the theater. The movie is something nobody really cares to see, but they’re going anyway. Why? Because… that’s just what you do on a first date. Right?
Wrong.
Let’s start with the movie, and why it’s a terrible piece of dating advice for men to follow. If the movie is bad, then your night is bad. You don’t want her to associate you with a boring waste of time. Even if the movie is good that won’t help you either. She doesn’t get a chance to experience how cool and fun you are. She just learns that the new Ben Affleck movie is pretty good and you become a forgettable afterthought. Sitting in the dark not interacting while her attention is on something else will not make her go home thinking “I definitely want to see this guy again!”
As for dinner, if you take her some place fancy in an attempt to impress her it can easily backfire. If you’re in an environment that you don’t feel comfortable in she’ll pick up on that and it’ll make her feel uncomfortable. You’re better off going someplace you know you’ll enjoy and think she would enjoy as well.
That being said, you don’t need to bother with dinner at all. It can be fine, but there are a few problems. For one it can imply a serious tone. Something causal like meeting for coffee or cocktails can take a lot of the pressure off. Plus with dinner the two of you are locked in for that period of time. If dinner takes an hour and a half there’s pressure to fill that entire hour and a half with entertaining conversation. You end up awkwardly staring at each other as you each try to think up something to say. On the other hand if you meet for drinks you can take things 20 minutes at a time. If it lasts an hour and a half, great! It means you’re having fun and enjoying one another’s company.
Drinks are a good starting point, but if you want something more exciting and memorable then go ahead and add on something a bit more active. Here’s some dating advice men can use for a fun, memorable first date:
Take her for a hike, play mini golf, go bowling, or check out a museum/art show. These activities have a more relaxed environment and provide endless topics of conversation. When you’re playing mini golf, it’s easy to suddenly remember that funny thing that happened when you were mini golfing as a kid. That reminds her of a similar thing that happened, and BAM! the date is off and running. You’re having fun and connecting on a deeper level than you would if you were at a 5 star restaurant talking about your jobs just for the sake of filling the silence.
Also a comedy or improv show is a great choice because of the fun environment. Once you both get laughing it’ll be easier to relate to one another and talk comfortably because you’ll both be in a positive mindset.
For more ideas check out your local paper and see what events are going on each week. Even if you’re in a small town you might be surprised at the options available. You can also look at meetup.com or groupon.com for inspiration and to find fun, interesting things in your area.
Now you know how to have an awesome first date, but odds are you’ll want one of these dates to lead to the bedroom or even a relationship. It’s not enough to be another cool, fun guy. You want her to think there’s something special about you so she’ll want more than a fun time and great conversation. To learn about how to reach that point check out our bootcamps in NY or LA for some live practice and instruction that will teach you just that.
