How to Pick Up a Girl at a Bar

Going out to a bar can be a great place to pick up girls. Still, even though it’s pretty much the quintessential place to meet and attract women, a lot of men feel that they’re falling short when it comes to picking up girls in bars. That’s OK: The Art of Charm is here to show you how to pick up a girl at a bar and make the most out of your night every time that you head out.

Stand at a High Trafficked Area

Here’s a killer way to get the women coming to you: Stand in a highly trafficked area of the bar. If you’re standing where there are a lot of people congregating, you look like you’re in the center of it all. You also have lots of women going by you, presenting you with ample opportunity to strike up conversations with them. When you head out to a bar, scout out the best places in the bar to be. Then start making the rounds.

Clink Glasses / Get High Fives

A quick and dirty trick to look like a guy who knows everyone out at the bar: Clink glasses and high five strangers. Very few guys are going to leave you hanging as you walk by, your glass aloft or your hand in the air. Not only are you going to create social value for yourself when you do this, you’re going to give value to them. When girls seeing you walking around doing this, they’re going to see a fun-loving guy who’s easy to talk to and who seems to know everyone at the bar.

Approach Immediately and With Confidence

Approaching women with confidence is the best way when it comes to how to pick up a girl at a bar. Think about it: When you hover around, waiting for your turn to talk, it not only shows a lack of confidence, but it can also come across as creepy or weird. What you want to do when you go out to a bar is be the guy who walks up to women right away and starts talking to them right after you see them.

We get it. It can be hard to approach a woman with confidence. Read this quick guide on how to get more confidence with women, but remember: You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.

How to Chat Her Up

After you approach, you’re going to have to say something. The good news is that it’s less about the words that you use and more about the attitude that you convey when you walk up to her. You want to smile, walk tall and say something fun and playful. Remember that it’s not about bowling her over with some kind of perfect pickup line that’s going to make her instantly fall at your feet. On the contrary, what you’re trying to do when you chat girls up at a bar is get them interested in talking to you more. The first thing you say to her is an entree to get her interested in the second thing that you’re going to say to her.

AJ Harbinger - author of 369 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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