In today’s episode, we cover influence with Zoe Chance. Zoe is a teacher, writer, researcher, climate philanthropist, earned her doctorate from Harvard, teaches Mastering Influence and Persuasion, the most popular class at the Yale School of Management, and is the author of Influence is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen.
About Zoe Chance
Dr. Zoe Chance teaches Mastering Influence and Persuasion at the Yale School of Management, one of the school’s most popular courses. She earned her doctorate at Harvard and is the author of Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen (2022).
Key takeaways
- Charisma in a group comes from giving your attention to one person at a time.
- Zoe’s “shining” exercise: speak to one audience member until they feel seen, then move to the next.
- Even a nervous first-time speaker held a room this way. First she got still, then she connected person by person.
- New influence skills feel awkward at first, like a new language, then become natural.
- Over time you need fewer tactics because you become someone people want to say yes to.
- Lower resistance by giving people the choice, stating your preference and raising the objection before they do.
Influencing the people around you is a superpower, but how do you develop that ability through your charisma, what common mistakes are you making that kill your charisma, and what is the most important skill you need to influence people?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why is your ability to influence others a superpower?
- What are the three paradoxes of charisma?
- Anti-charismatic statements – 15:15
- What are diminishing statements, why do so many of us use them, and how do they kill your charisma?
- Charming vs Manipulating – 23:14
- How can you tell the difference between people using strategies and tactics to build genuine connections and using them to manipulate others to get what they want?
- How do you say no if you’re a people pleaser and what can you do to get comfortable with saying no?
- What does it mean to reframe something? – 32:30
- What is reframing and why is it a powerful tool in communication?
- What is the worst way to try and get someone to see your point of view?
- The levels of listening – 47:30
- What are the 5 levels of listening, and which level is the most important if you’re trying to connect with someone?
You have the ability to influence others, and that is a superpower. It’s time to start using your power for good. When you become aware of diminishing statements and how they kill your charisma, you can start reframing your communication in order to build genuine connections with the people around you. With practice, this will become second nature, and you’ll be able to use your newfound superpower for good in all areas of your life.
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Resources from this Episode
- Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen By Zoe Chance
- Zoe Chance’s website
- Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
Best quotes from Zoe Chance
“You are shining your energy and your attention on a human being and then another human being, but it’s just one at a time.”
Zoe Chance, 7:12
“Eventually you don’t need to use too many tactics at all because you’ve become someone people want to say yes to.”
Zoe Chance, 23:11
“You can always tell people what your preference is.”
Zoe Chance, 38:24
“You are yourself critiquing your own argument before they’re critiquing your argument.”
Zoe Chance, 38:24
Zoe’s best tools are about attention and presence, not scripts. If you want to practice them with feedback, the X-Factor Accelerator is our program for exactly that.
FAQ
Who is Zoe Chance?
A Yale School of Management faculty member who teaches Mastering Influence and Persuasion, and the author of Influence Is Your Superpower.
What is Zoe Chance’s book?
Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen (2022).
How can I be more charismatic when speaking to a group?
Zoe’s advice is to connect with one person at a time. Hold someone’s attention until they feel seen, then move on, instead of scanning the room.
How do you handle objections when persuading someone?
Give them the choice, say what you’d prefer, and voice their likely objection yourself so they feel heard.
Related reading
- The Science of Influence: 5 Principles That Make People Want to Say Yes
- How to Be More Charismatic in Everyday Conversations
- Public Speaking Without Fear
Want to know how you come across to other people? Take the free 2-minute Influence Index.
