Review by Brian McCarthy
Anybody looking to live a better life would no doubt benefit by flipping through The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) | Amazon
A bona fide nerd himself (and I use that term lovingly, as does he), Chris speaks directly to the nerds out there in their own language – frequently explaining his points through Star Trek and RPG metaphors as well as the occasional DOS reference. But he doesn’t just embrace this nerdy side of himself for the jokes (though there are plenty of those). He gets in touch with his own inner nerd to show how the tendencies and behaviors that make a person nerdy can be refocused to create a better life. In essence, he explains how the same compulsion that leads a nerd to play Call of Duty for 23 hours straight can be redirected towards behaviors that will get him “paid and laid”.
Chris focuses on three specific aspects of a person’s life (mind, body, and time) and provides insight into how to improve each area in order to live a better life. And after a quick digression into Chris’ background, I will summarize some of the major points he mentions about the mind, body, and time.
Who is Chris Hardwick and why should I listen to him?
Throughout his 20’s Chris was a mess. He was an overweight alcoholic and his career was going nowhere. He had no purpose, no direction, and was pretty much miserable.
But eventually he realized enough was enough, and began to make a change. Now in his mid-thirties, he’s a successful comedian/podcaster/TV host (and a few other titles). He’s happier and healthier than he’s ever been and his life has completely turned around.
Transforming from a down-and-out alcoholic to a guy who enjoys his life and makes a good living doing exactly what he loves taught him some incredibly valuable lessons. This book then, highlights some of those lessons. It’s not to brag or preach – it’s simply about sharing the ideas that helped him, because they could probably help you, too.
Your mind
One of the major obstacles to our own happiness comes from being a slave to our own minds. We believe the voice in our head that tells us we’re not good enough. We buy into the feeling that there’s no point even trying to reach our goals – and that we should just give up.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, if you ever want to live a happier, more satisfying life, you’ve got to take control of your mind. As Chris puts it, you’ve got to realize that you are not the prisoner of your emotions, you are the warden. Your actions do not need to be dictated by the whims of your thoughts and emotions. You can have that voice tell you you’re not good enough… but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to it.
Your mind will often work against you – it will put up barriers between you and what you really want. Here are a few tips that will help you overcome those barriers so you can take control of your mind and move your life in a positive direction.
Ignore you’re brain
We all have that voice in our head that likes to chime in and tell us how much we suck – and how nothing will ever go right. But Chris gives a few exercises for how to deal with that voice and keep it from dictating our actions.
One thing you can do is to override it. Respond to that voice by saying “awww, it’s adorable that you think your unsolicited opinion means anything”. Show that little part of your brain that it’s not in charge, you are.
Now, let’s say that voice isn’t talking trash – it’s just making excuses. It’s focused on all the things wrong in your life and how you’ll never be able to overcome them. To deal with that voice, try this exercise: Take a sheet of paper and write down all of the reasons why you think things aren’t working out for you. Next to each one, write “BULLSHIT!” with an arrow pointing at each excuse. This helps you get used to seeing these excuses for what they are –negativity that exists only in your own mind. The minute you stop accepting them, they disappear.
Overcome “analysis paralysis”
Often we are so afraid of making the wrong decision that we make no decision at all. Chris mentions how nerds especially can take so much time analyzing every possible outcome of a potential action that they never take ANY action. To overcome this, he suggests starting small and simply practicing making decisions.
Don’t waste time debating “do I want ham or turkey on my sandwich?” Just pick one without thinking and go with it. Being able to make small decisions effectively will make it easier to make big decisions when the time comes. You’ll learn to trust your ability to make decisions and know that even when you choose wrong, life will still turn out okay.
For a little guidance, it may help to have a default word you can go to that will immediately help you make the decisions you know will benefit you in the long run. For instance let’s say you’re tired of being the guy who “always plays it safe”. You want be a little bolder and take more risks. Take that word “bold” and repeat it to yourself when faced with a choice, and it will remind you to take the bolder option. Again by starting small it’ll become easier to make those big, bold decisions.
Handling fear
When we fear a situation, we often have an image imprinted in our heads of things going horribly wrong should that situation arise. For instance, maybe you have a fear of flying. Anytime someone even mentions “flying” you instantly get an image of a burning plane filled with screaming passengers crashing to the ground. You can’t get that image out of your head or the feeling of fear that goes along with it. As a result are terrified of flying and look to avoid it at all costs.
But you can essentially reprogram your brain to change the associations you have with flying. Rather than associating it with those horrible images that make you feel terrified, you can associate it with something completely neutral, or even a little silly, so that you’re no longer afraid.
For example let’s say the image described above enters your mind whenever you think about flying. Allow the image into your mind and freeze it. Then start to toy with it. Erase the fire. Make the image smaller and black and white – or add rainbow colors. Fill the plane with cats. Get rid of the elements that make it horrific and add elements that will make the whole scene look completely ridiculous and amusing.
As you do it you’ll notice the feeling of dread may begin to ease and be replaced with lighter, more pleasant feeling. If you practice doing this regularly you’ll be able to form new associations and overcome that fear.
Forcing Creativity
Nerds tend to be pretty creative. But sometimes you may hit a wall creatively and feel you just can’t start. The blank page or empty canvass looks intimidating and you don’t think you can overcome it. Chris has some of advice that will help you break through moments like that:
1. Create anyway. Just because you think you can’t doesn’t mean you can’t. Just start the process and see what happens. Trust in yourself to be able to do it. Even if you don’t know what the final product will look like you can trust that you’ll get there eventually.
2. Create the cheesiest thing you can think of. Take the pressure away from thinking whatever you do must be “good”. It’s not that important how you start since the final product will be much better anyway. What’s important is that you start.
3. Change your environment. It can change your mood and help you find inspiration.
4. If you have a project that requires focused creativity, take multiple passes at it. Don’t force yourself to do it all at once or only give yourself one opportunity to get it right.
Your Body
Some people may think “I don’t need diet/exercise. I’m fine with my body as it is”. Well, Chris doesn’t want you to just be “fine” with your body. He wants you to be happy with your body. And if you’re happy with your body you’ll want to take care of it.
The best way to take care of your body is through proper diet and exercise. And while Chris isn’t interested in turning anyone into an uber-athletic health-nut, he does provide some solid advice on how to integrate healthy habits into your life.
Exercising
Regular exercise is going to increase your energy level and get you feeling good (a good workout has a way of making you forget about all the crap that’s piled on you throughout the day). It’ll get you to feel more comfortable in your own body (which as Chris mentions is a common problem for nerds) which is going to skyrocket your confidence. And seeing your new lean-and-mean figure in the mirror will be a nice self-esteem boost as well.
In the book he details a full-body workout that anyone (even a novice) could start doing right now. He even includes exercises you can do at home or on the road to ensure you stay in shape no matter what your schedule looks like. While I won’t get into workout specifics here, below are some of the broad strokes from the book related to exercise that are worth keeping in mind:
• Look to have a mix of cardio and weights. If you want to get more tone and burn some fat, use high repetition of light weights.
• Stretch. Stretching brings fresh blood to your muscles and will help your body feel better. Plus it’s going to prevent injuries and pain from developing down the road.
• Hire a personal trainer. He’ll hold you accountable, ensure you’re doing things right, and tailor a workout regimen specific to meet your needs. It may seem expensive, but if getting fit is important to you then you’ll be able to find the money. Chris highly recommends this and credits his own massive weight loss to his trainer.
• Don’t rush into it. When you start using weights, be sure to get your form right before adding more on. If you’re going to run, keep it short at first and gradually increase the number of miles. Frequently check in with how your body feels to make sure you’re not hurting yourself.
• Start small. You don’t have to go to the gym 7 days a week. Start by just going one day a week. Then maybe two. Eventually work your way up to three or four. You’re not trying to turn into the incredible hulk, just looking to establish a healthier lifestyle.
• Strive for consistency. People who try to make drastic change quickly tend to give up and fail. Consistency is where the major change to happens. Being able to consistently answer “yes” to the question “did I work out today?” is the most important thing to shoot for when looking to get/stay in shape
Nutrition
What you eat has a huge impact on your energy level and how good you feel. Eating right is an easy thing to neglect but totally worth the effort.
Chris doesn’t go too deep into what foods to eat/avoid (eat more veggies, avoid sugar/salt/empty carbs like bread). But he does go into what it takes to keep your metabolism up and running. This is important because metabolism is what allows you to burn up what you take it in so all that food doesn’t just get stored as fat.
Getting your metabolism going starts by making sure you don’t skip breakfast. Then eat another 2-3 meals throughout the day (and be sure to eat after working out, that’s when your metabolism is ready to go). Have protein with at least two meals a day to make sure you’re getting enough as protein is key in building muscle and boosting metabolism.
Keep in mind that you don’t want to go too long between meals. Doing so means you’ll start to get really hungry- and that’s when you’ll begin craving junk food.
Now, we all know starting good eating habits isn’t easy to do. That’s why Chris recommends starting slow. Start by eating well just one day a week. The positive change you may notice in mood and energy level will make you want to eat healthier the other days. Plus you’ll be able to slowly build that habit of healthy eating (just like with exercise, slowly building healthy eating habits is far more effective and lasting than trying to make a drastic change).
Once you get yourself on a good diet, give yourself one “cheat day” per week to eat literally anything you want. One day of poor eating won’t have much of an impact if you’re eating well the other 6. Plus by indulging in your cravings in a controlled way you won’t come to resent your new diet.
Your Time
How successful you are in life is going to come down to how you spend your time. Chris offers plenty of tips on how to make sure you make the most of your time without wasting it. Here are a just a few examples:
Time management
To make sure you’re spending your time well, get a calendar. Plan ahead what you’re going to do and how you’ll spend your day. Having specific goals and tasks written down will help you focus on getting things done and prevent you from wasting time on tasks that aren’t as important.
To identify how exactly you could be spending your time more productively, try this: Go to the Nerdist Way website and get a time tracker app (nerdist.com/nerdistway/time). It will help you keep track of exactly how you spend your time throughout the day and how much time you waste (mucking about online can really add up when you do it multiple times a day). Once you see it all laid out, you can plan a way to restructure your time to cut out those useless activities and replace them with something better.
Motivation
Chris has a very interesting method for tapping into your “inner nerd” in a way that will help you become more productive and motivated to reach your goal. He suggests you should see yourself as an “evil genius”.
See, evil geniuses are highly motivated and work their butt off in order to achieve their goal. Their motivation often comes from wanting something for themselves, or simply to spite someone else (an “I’ll show you!” mentality). Adopt this kind of mentality, and it’ll help drive you to achieve your goals.
Here’s an example. Imagine a girl you really want to have sex with (preferably someone you don’t know in real life) or a person you really want to spite (that jerk that picked on you in high school). Now think of some goal you want to achieve. Pretend that once you achieve that goal, that girl will be begging to have sex with you, or that jerk from high school will be ruined forever. Use it as motivation to drive you towards that goal.
Is this silly? Sure. But that’s not the point. The point is to harness that emotional energy that comes from the desire to sleep with that girl, or to see someone you don’t like fail, and channel it. Take all that energy and emotion and get it working for you and help you achieve any goal you may have.
(Side note on goals: to make them more attainable, break them down to smaller goals. Then commit to doing something every day that will help you achieve that larger goal).
Just Start
Everyone has areas they’re interested in and passionate about, but very few people are able to take what they love and turn it into a career. But Chris has a very simple piece of advice for people who have an idea of what they want to do, but aren’t sure exactly how to do it.
Just start. Right now.
Now, you probably think you’re not ready. You probably think you need to figure out exactly what you should do. You think you need to do more research or wait for the right moment. That you’ve got to have things all figured out before you take that first step.
Well, that’s not how it works. You’re never going to have all the answers. If you want to succeed in doing work you love the most important thing you can do is simply get started. Now. You can figure out the details as you go. You’re not going to succeed overnight (nobody does) but the longer you put off starting, the longer you put off success. Decide to take action and stay committed to continuing to take action until you reach your goal. It’s the only way.
Conclusion
The Nerdist Way is filled with great information that can change your life for the better. On top of that, it’s got tons of cool exercises that allow you to put what you learn into action. It’s written in a unique and interesting way that keeps it fun, fresh, and light. And while it’s a book anyone could enjoy, those among us who frequent Comic Con will no doubt get the most out of it as it’s very much a book written by a nerd, for a nerd.
Get the book: The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) | Amazon
