Peter Sage | Why Certainty is a Myth (Episode 330)

Become a complete version of you.

“It’s not about what skills you’re born with, it’s about the mindset you develop.” -Peter Sage

The Cheat Sheet:

  • How to stop swimming in GOOP (and what goop stands for). (16:50)
  • The question to ask to shift your perspective on a situation. (28:30)
  • Why knowing something is useless. (31:00)
  • The two emotions that align your heart and your mind. (41:20)
  • A tip to change a woman’s mind. (55:30)
  • What’s the difference between manipulation and influence? (57:10)
  • And so much more…

Most people in the world are living with situations and experiences that don’t serve them, all for the sake of certainty. Perhaps they even know what they’re doing, but they don’t change. Why? Because living with certainty (even if it means being unhappy) is easier for most of us than living with uncertainty.

Here to explain why this is human nature and how we can break free from it to live healthier and more fulfilling lives is Peter Sage. Peter is a highly accomplished serial entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, and extreme athlete. Today he joins us to talk about why certainty isn’t real, and how applying that knowledge can shift our mindset, our relationships, and our entire lives…and so much more on the 330th episode of The Art of Charm.

More About This Show:

In this episode, Peter gives us a crazy amount of wisdom, advice, and insights that have aided in his success over the last two decades. Before the age of 30, Peter had built over 15 startups, and he says he owes much of this success to his interest and passion for personal development. Today he travels the world speaking and giving back to others, helping them find their best version of themselves.

As the best version of himself, Peter has learned that certainty is a falsehood — it doesn’t actually exist. We only think it does and that thinking keeps us stuck in all areas of our lives. Another truth he has discovered is that the quality and fullness of our lives are in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty we are willing to embrace.

That’s all well and good, but how do we implement this into our lives? How can we embrace uncertainty when our default programming is to go toward what we know? Peter says the first step is awareness. We have to be aware that our programming is taking us in a certain direction. Is that a direction we want to go in? If not, become aware and make a change, and then trust that by making that change, life is going to support us and work with us rather than against us.

Peter also says we also need to become aware of and examine our relationships. It’s important to ask ourselves if we got into a relationship for selfish reasons. Are we looking to have our needs met, or are we looking for someone to complete us?

Both scenarios, which are Level I and Level II-type relationships according to Peter, will simply get us relationships that are limited in length because they are either selfish or transactional in nature. Instead, become the person you want to be, regardless of your relationship status. Focus on being a whole and complete person with or without a significant other and, as you do that, you’ll attract someone of the right caliber.

If you find yourself getting stuck in certainty, learn to ask better questions. Peter says all events in life are subjective; nothing is good or bad unless we label it so. Using this as our basis for all that happens in life, we can change how we experience anything. We simply have to ask ourselves different and better questions. Instead of asking, “Why did this happen to me?” or something of that ilk, we can ask, “What is great about this that I haven’t noticed yet?” Doing so will change how we see and feel about an event.

That’s one practical tip Peter has for us. He also tells us how to truly understand the principle of uncertainty. If we put ourselves in situations we would’ve avoided in the past out of fear, we can show ourselves how to cope with the unknown. The more we embrace the unknown, the stronger our uncertainty muscles become. We can learn that uncertainty is a ghost, it’s not real, and it’s not something that should hold us back any longer.

Peter has several other suggestions for overcoming the myth of uncertainty, all of which we dive into in this show. We also talk about why our school system doesn’t educate our identities and why we actually need this, as well as the difference between manipulation and influence and lots more! It was a pleasure to have Peter on the show — he was an amazing guest. I want to thank him for joining us and to thank you for being here, too. Enjoy the episode and we’ll see you next time.


Resources from this episode:

Peter Sage’s website


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AJ Harbinger - author of 1051 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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