763: Had Enough Pain, Yet? | Toolbox 2

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We all know change can be hard, so embarking on a journey of self-development and transformation means there will be pain involved – but is it possible to endure pain without also suffering? Why is it important to have a larger overarching goal throughout your journey, and what actionable steps can you take today to reduce the time and energy it might take to reach your transformation goals?

What to Listen For

  • Why is pain an unavoidable part of personal transformation, and what is the best way to approach such pain?
  • What is the difference between pain and suffering?
  • How do you figure out your values and why are they important when it comes to pursuing a fulfilling life?
  • Why is it important to have a larger overarching goal on your journey toward self-actualization?
  • Why is a reactive mindset counterproductive to happiness and fulfillment in life, and what steps can you take to turn your reactive mindset into a proactive one?
  • What one question can you ask yourself to take back power and control over your life?
  • How do you find meaning in terrible situations so you can thrive?
  • What signs can you be on the lookout for to identify if you are struggling with resistance on your path to transformation?
  • What 3 questions should you ask yourself in order to put your transformation goals into achievable steps?

When you work out or train for an event, it’s important to push your body to its limits at various times so those limits can grow and you can improve as an athlete. You know when you are approaching those limits because of the pain you feel in your muscles, but if you stop when your muscles start to burn, you will not achieve the same results as someone who pushes through the pain to run the extra mile or get one more rep in.

When confronting resistance or pain on your journey to self-actualization, you can choose to suffer in response, or you can recognize the value of the pain and push through it.

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Resources from this Episode

Episode 762: 3 Signs That it’s Time for Change
Implementation Intentions: Strong Effects of Simple Plans
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris
Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit | w/ Steven Hayes

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1156 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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