726: 5 Hacks to Improve Your Listening | Q&A w/ Oscar Trimboli

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About This Episode

Many of us take listening for granted because we do it all day every day, but did you know there are multiple layers to listening and many of us only focus on one of them – so what does it mean to listen in color versus black and white, how can you vastly improve your listening skills with a few tips you can start using today, and why is effective listening such a powerful skill to have?  

What to Listen For

  • How can you use silence in conversation to improve your listening skills?
  • What are the four villains of listening and how can you avoid becoming each one?
  • What is the 125-400 rule and why is it so important when it comes to effective communication?
  • What tips can you implement today to become a better listener at work and at home?
  • How can you use body language to improve your listening ability?
  • What does listening for patterns in what people say teach you about what’s important to them?
  • What is the difference between listening with your head and listening with your heart?
  • What are the five levels of listening and which one do 86% of people zero in on?
  • The one question you can use at any networking event to connect with anyone

Listening is the most important skill we can develop as humans because we primarily communicate using spoken language. In addition, one could argue the only reason we have made it this far as a species is our ability to work together in large groups, so where would we be if we never developed language and therefore the ability to listen to and understand what others want us to know?

Technology has since replaced many of the reasons we initially developed and used spoken language for (oral history, traditions, business, transactions, etc), but it is still the most effective method we have to build deep meaningful relationships with our fellow humans. Also, because of our increasing reliance on technology, attentive listening (aka not getting distracted by our mobile devices every time we hear something vibrate) is not a skill that is being adequately cultivated in the current and subsequent generations. It’s time to change that.

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Resources from this Episode

Oscar Trimboli

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1162 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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