Create the best self imaginable
All great change begins with you. In this section, we discuss the thoughts, principles and behaviors that make up your life—from the habits that form your routine to the beliefs that shape your decisions. Here we explore the deeper foundations of productivity, empowerment and identity.
Our problem isn’t caring what other people think. Our real problem is caring what people think who don’t care about us. We want to stop worrying about the approval from strangers. We’re not at our best when we do things only for approval. This is fine when we do it for the people we care about. It’s a problem when we do it for people we won’t ever see again.
“Hmmm. Probably on drugs – I mean, look at that hair.” “No doubt, he was definitely up all night partying.” “Pfft. Dude thinks he’s too cool for school. Probably a total douchebag.” “I bet he can barely string a full sentence together.” Sometimes, it’s as if I can read people’s thoughts like they’re written in speech bubbles over their heads. … Read More
Are you willing to change your point of view? It’s a simple question, but it can take people a lifetime to consider. My work as a systems thinker has led me to explore a variety of methodologies, approaches, and frameworks geared at helping those considering this question to arrive at an answer. Through this work, I’ve found no approach has … Read More
After spending a month learning about happiness – and the important role that relationships play in this happiness – we wanted to dig deeper. What do we mean by relationships? What are the secrets to building healthy relationships? What’s the science behind how relationships contribute to our personal happiness and well-being? Here are our biggest learnings on the power of … Read More
There’s an old myth that frogs will pull down other frogs trying to escape a pot of boiling water. That’s likely the stuff of folklore, but the dynamic is real: In everyone’s life, there will always be people who will resist, threaten and sabotage the possibility of self-improvement. These are some of the signs of a toxic person. This general … Read More
Here’s an experience I recently had with approach anxiety: July 28th, I walk into Chipotle, and there she is. Blonde, tall, with a ponytail extending from her baseball cap, and in full runner’s gear. I just came here to get a burrito, and instead, I’m awestruck by this beautiful woman. And she’s not alone. It appears she’s with a homeless … Read More
Criticism is an unavoidable part of life. Whether we want it or not, feedback will find us — at work, at home, and in our closest relationships. Some people avoid it at all costs, and wrestle with how to make sense of other people’s opinions about their work. Others embrace criticism, and use it to develop the insights they need … Read More
Making friends isn’t just a smart networking approach or strategy for status. It’s intimately connected to our physical and mental well-being. If you needed more proof that our relationships literally make or break us, then check out the latest findings of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has found once again that social capital — the stuff of great … Read More
Social anxiety: we’ve all suffered from it. In fact, for most members of the Art of Charm community, this is the single most common challenges that dogged them long and hard enough to make them go looking for a solution. Here are three tips for beating social anxiety that you should keep under your hat for a rainy day. Let’s … Read More
Everyone wants more of it. Some seem to be born with it. Others had it and lost it. Some never seem to get it, no matter how hard they try. Whatever your story is, if you want more confidence, you’re going to have to go build it yourself. Here’s how. Confidence isn’t actually required to do anything. We can get … Read More