Toolbox: The Myth About Friendship and 3 Ways to Make a Deeper Connection

In today’s episode, we cover emotional connection with Michael Herold. Michael is the instructor for the Art of Charm’s Core Confidence program and uses evidence-based psychotherapy to help clients overcome their social anxiety and become the best versions of themselves.

In today’s data-driven world, many of us are struggling to connect with those around us because we don’t know how to connect on an emotional level, but what does it mean to connect emotionally, what three rock solid steps can you take to deepen the connections with those around you, and how should you lead a conversation to make others feel comfortable around you?

What to Listen For

  • What three steps can you take to make a deeper connection with everyone you meet?
  • Why is it impossible to connect with other humans using facts and data, and what should you use instead?
  • How can you ask deeper questions that lead to fascinating conversations and deeper connections?
  • What questions can you ask to deepen your relationships with anyone?
  • What are the 3 levels of rapport we go through to connect with other people and why can going through them out of order lead to pushing people away when meeting them?
  • What is the difference between light, medium, and heavy disclosure and when is it appropriate to approach each level?
  • Why is it dangerous to ask too many questions in a conversation and how should you balance the asking of questions to make a conversation flow smoothly? 
  • Why is there no such thing as the perfect question or perfect answer in a fluid conversation?
  • How should you word your questions to elicit thoughtful answers rather than cold data-driven answers?
  • How do you lean into emotional content during conversations so the conversation doesn’t fall flat?

Human beings don’t connect with other human beings through facts and figures. We connect based on shared emotional experiences. But it can be difficult to tap into those shared emotional experiences if you’re uncomfortable asking open ended questions and sharing your feelings, aspirations, and fears. And in order to break through that discomfort, you have to do more than read a book or listen to a podcast – you must be willing to go out and talk to people.

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Resources from this Episode

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1132 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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in Art of Personal Development, Lifestyle, Making Friends, Podcast, Profiles of Success, Self Mastery, Toolbox Episodes

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