Do You Want to Get a Girlfriend for the Right Reasons?

Why do you want to get a girlfriend?  This is an important question to ask yourself when you’re looking to attract women.  The fact is, if you’re trying to get a girl for the wrong reasons, then meeting women and dating is going to be a painful, frustrating process.  This article will examine some of those destructive reasons for wanting a girlfriend, and show you how to overcome them.  As a result, attracting a girlfriend will become an easier, more enjoyable experience.

Attracting women to show off

Sometimes a guy is only interested in attracting women because of the social validation it provides.  He wants an attractive woman to have on his arm that he can show-off to friends, family, and on-lookers.  He thinks people will think more highly of him when they see that women want him.

But this attitude makes it difficult to attract women in the first place.  Women want to be more than just an object for a guy to show off to his friends.  If this is the main motivation a guy has for attracting women, then women will want nothing to do with him.

You can change this attitude by adopting the opposite mindset – and taking pride in being single.  Embrace the attitude of “Yeah I’m single, and a woman has to be damn awesome if she’s going to change that”.  Strengthen that belief by hanging out with friends (guys and girls) who feel that same way.  When you no longer feel that need for social validation it will be much easier to get women interested in you.

Getting girls for a confidence boost

Some men use relationships as a way to measure their own self-worth.  A guy like this will try to get a girlfriend simply to prove to himself that he’s worth something.

But if you’re dependent on interest from women to feel good about yourself, then attracting women is going to be darn-near impossible.  Women are not attracted to needy men.  Women want confident men who already love their life.

In order to attract women then, focus on creating a life you love.  Spend time doing activities you enjoy (join a sports league, take a class, learn a new skill, etc.) and keep yourself healthy through diet and exercise.  This will help you build confidence and feel good about yourself.  Once you’re able to fully enjoy your life regardless of your dating situation, you’ll radiate positivity and excitement.  This will get women to notice you and make you more attractive to women instantly.

(For more on how to build confidence and determine your own self-worth, check out the value episodes from the Art of Charm toolbox.)

Wanting women out of spite

A guy might say he wants to get a girlfriend but when he takes a deeper look at himself, he realizes something incredible – that he resents women.  He is angry at the women who rejected him in the past and wants to attract women merely to prove those girls wrong for turning him down.

 If you try and attract women while holding on to this resentment and anger, you’re fighting an uphill battle.  Even if you do get a woman to like you it’s only a matter of time until this resentment comes out.

Guys who find themselves angry and resentful will benefit by building confidence and cultivating a more positive mindset.  You can do both of those things at once by taking the time each day (or once a week) to write down your small victories – the things you did well and good things that happened to you.  Build up that positive attitude by focusing on what’s good in your life and what you have to offer.  This will help that anger and resentment disappear – making you more attractive with women.

Doing whatever it takes to make a girl fall in love

Then there’s the guy willing to do anything and everything in order to get a girl.  He will do and be whatever he has to in order to make a woman fall in love with him.

This is a terrible attitude to have for attracting women for two reasons.  First, women want a man with integrity who stands for something – not a doormat they can walk all over.  Second, there tends to be an underlying social contract that comes with this attitude.  This guy is essentially saying “I’ll do whatever it takes to make a girl happy so that she’ll love me.”   This attitude is not only unattractive to women, it’s insincere and manipulative. (For more on this check out the Art of Charm Podcast on Nice Guy Syndrome with Dr. Robert Glover).

Instead of being the doormat willing to do anything to make a woman fall in love, be the confident man women want.  Become a man with standards that makes women chase after him.  How?  Start by taking the time to write down exactly what you want from a woman and a relationship.  Then, when you go out and meet women, don’t settle for anything less than what you want.  Having this mindset and these standards is going to make you more attractive to women and is the key to getting women to chase you.