Gretchen Rubin | Happiness and the Four Tendencies

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Many of us have heard the phrase, “Happiness is a choice” – but what does a happiness expert think about that and what can you do if you feel like you’re unable to make that choice?

What to Listen For

  • What are the Four Tendencies and how do they determine how you respond to expectations and your ability to be happy?
  • What’s the alternative if you feel you can’t just choose to be happy?
  • What steps can you take in your environment that will make it easier to be happy?
  • What does it mean for emotions to be contagious and how can your understanding of it help prevent you from feeling down?
  • How do novelty and challenge contribute so significantly to your ability to be happy?
  • What can you do to raise your self-awareness?
  • What can you do if you find yourself being the victim of analysis paralysis so you don’t waste too much time thinking about a decision?
  • Once you understand your tendency, how do you recognize the Four Tendencies in others and what is the best way to work with them or help them reach their potential on a team?

We cannot make ourselves happy by focusing on our external environment, but it can help to minimize the work we have to do to be happy. Our personalities are made up of the tendencies and habits we have formed over the years, so the more aware you are of your tendencies and habits, the easier it can be for you to make the decisions which will lead to you being less miserable and more happy. Happiness is a choice, but certain things in your life can make the difference between that choice feeling easy, and that choice feeling impossible, and the more you understand yourself, your environment, and the people you spend time with, the easier that choice can be.

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Resources from this Episode

Outer Order, Inner Calm by Gretchen Rubin

The Four Tendencies Quiz

Gretchen Rubin’s website

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1156 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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