Why the Second Date Can be More Difficult than the First

2nd Date KissHave you ever gone on a first date and have it go great only to have the second date be a disaster? Or maybe it just wasn’t as good as you wanted it to be. There’s no debating that a lot of times the second date can be harder than the first. When do you go for the second date kiss? What’s the ideal date to make a great impression? Most importantly, how do you make sure that your second date goes swimmingly?

Step One: Relax

Before you do anything else, you need to relax. If she’s going on a second date with you, that means that she had a good time on the first date. It means that she liked you enough to spend more time with you and get to know you better. One thing that can foul all of that up is you being way too nervous before a date. So relax, secure in the knowledge that a lot of the heavy lifting has already been done. Don’t let your wheels spin in the snow.

Step Two: Pick a Solid Second Date

You’re not comfortable enough that you can start falling back on “dinner and a movie” by the second date. So what can you do? You want to bring the intensity up a little bit. You don’t have to go nuts, but the second date shouldn’t be a rehash of the first while also increasing the excitement level. You want to have a second date picked out before you ask her out to avoid falling into the “get together and hang out trap.” So give it a bit of thought, then get her to agree to another date.

Step Three: Allow for Some Pre-Date Time

While you can’t go into “dinner and a movie” just yet, you can start having dates where the focus is on the two of you getting to know each other; The caveat to this is that it’s best to have a set time limit for that part of the date. A great way to allow for this is to hit up a happy hour together. If one or both of you don’t drink, you can grab a cup of coffee, leaving after you have both finished rather than hanging out and lingering. The thing to do here is to schedule the coffee / happy hour part of the date so that it buts up against the main part of the date. That way you have an hour or so to just hang out and chat before you have to bounce to the next part of your date.

Step Four: Surprise Her

One way to increase the excitement on a second date is to do something surprising. This can be bringing her somewhere that she didn’t know she was going, doing something unexpected or a number of other things you can do to increase the overall excitement of the date. Don’t feel like you have to be a “dancing monkey” who’s trying really hard to entertain her. Instead, look for opportunities to do something a little out of the ordinary that will make her smile, laugh or maybe even shock her a little bit. And don’t be afraid to go for that second date kiss if her body language is receptive.

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