The Confidence Boost You Need

Any man who wants to become more confident with women can do just that.  All he needs are a few good tips on how to increase self-esteem and confidence with women, and the willingness to try them out.  If you’re interested in learning how to increase self-esteem so you can be more confident approaching and flirting with women, then the following tips are for you.

Eliminate limiting beliefs

One of the quickest tricks for how to increase self-esteem and confidence in this area is to start eliminating your limiting beliefs.  For example, if you’re like many guys out there you may see an attractive girl and immediately start believing all these reasons why you shouldn’t approach her.  Maybe you assume she’s got a boyfriend, is out of your league, wouldn’t want to be bothered, etc.

But what if, instead of assuming all these reasons why the girl wouldn’t be interested, you took a different perspective?  What if you assumed every attractive girl was already interested in you and wanted to meet you?  If you assumed every girl out there already wanted you, it’d no doubt be easier to approach women with confidence and have fun, flirty conversations.

Know what to do

A second element that’s key in learning how to increase self-esteem and confidence with women is simply knowing what to do.  By knowing exactly how to approach a girl and what to say to a girl to start an engaging conversation, you’ll feel more confident in your abilities to meet and attract women.

For a detailed breakdown of what to do and say when meeting women, check out the Art of Charm’s Toolbox podcasts here.  But for now here are a few quick-hits for how to approach a woman you don’t know and start a stimulating conversation:

When approaching a girl you don’t know the first step is to let her see that you’re both friendly and confident.  So approach the girl directly while maintaining confident body language (keeping your head up, back straight, shoulders rolled down and back).  Make eye contact as you approach and give the girl a warm smile.  From there, start the conversation with some light, content-free banter.  Saying something playful like “You look like trouble…” can get the conversation going in a fun, light-hearted way.  By starting the conversation on this note it’ll be easier for you both to relax and create an engaging conversation.


The most effective method for how to increase self-esteem and boost confidence with women is the one many guys like to avoid.  And that’s to go out there and get some experience meeting and flirting with attractive women.

If the thought of going out and striking up conversations with random women sounds intimidating, make it easy on yourself.  Set up small goals and put aside time each day to reach them.  For instance, you may want to start by simply walking down the street and holding eye contact (while giving a warm smile) to the attractive women you see.  The next day go a step further and start saying “hi”.  Then go even further and initiate some playful banter.  Keep raising the bar and if you’re consistent then in no time at all you’ll be asking for (and getting) phone numbers and dates.

Positive Reinforcement

While you’re out there meeting women it’s important to process your interactions the right way.  If you leave every interaction kicking yourself for everything you did/said wrong, then it’s going to be tough to continue pushing yourself to meet women.  But if you celebrate even the smallest victories you have along the way, you’ll feel more excited and charged-up to continue on this journey.

So after each interaction (or night of interactions) take a moment and reflect on the things you did well.  If nothing else, give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to get out of your comfort-zone and do something that doesn’t come easily to you.  Then, rather than beating yourself up over any mistakes, acknowledge a thing or two you’d like to improve on and make it a goal for next time.  By doing this you’ll keep yourself motivated to get more experience, while ensuring you make progress.

Get a Buddy

One final step for how to increase self-esteem is to get a buddy to help you on your journey.  Find a friend who will push and support you.  Having someone in your corner cheering you on like this will help keep you motivated and make the entire process much more enjoyable.

When picking a friend to help you don’t settle on just anyone.  Be sure to get the right friend.  A buddy who insists girls are “out of your league”, or gives you crap anytime you don’t get a number isn’t going to help your cause.  What you want is a buddy who will support you in all the areas mentioned above.  Ideally you want someone who knows how to meet women, is free of limiting beliefs, and will provide positive reinforcement.  A friend like that will help push you farther than you may be willing to push yourself, and encourage you to take things further than you thought you could.  He’ll help you make rapid progress, which will do wonders for your confidence and self-esteem.

More FREE tips on confidence and attraction

For additional tips and exercises that will show you how to increase self-esteem and confidence with women, download the Art of Charm’s Free Insider’s Kit.  You’ll receive a host of free reports and videos that will help you get the knowledge, mindsets, and experience you need to approach women and flirt with confidence.  Just click on the box on to the right of this article and get started today.