You know what we mean when we talk about third date expectations. At some point, someone decided that guys are supposed to expect sex on the third date. And while this seems to be somewhat common, it might also be an example of self-fulfilling prophecy. So is the hype true? Are you “supposed” to have sex on the third date? The Art of Charm doesn’t think there’s an easy, straightforward answer to this question. So what’s the complicated, indirect answer to this question? Read on to find out.
Third Date: Expectations Vs. Reality
In a survey commissioned by Business Insider and executed by Survey Monkey, most people say that you should wait between two and five dates for the first sexual encounter. Not many fewer than that advocated waiting from between six and nine dates before doing the deed. What this means is that if you’re not having sex before the fifth date, that’s certainly not a big deal and before the ninth date is maybe not even that big of a deal.
How Important Is Sex?
It’s probably worth asking at this point how important sex is. Is sex important? That depends. Is it important to you? We get that sex is ultimately what makes a romantic relationship what it is. However, it might be worth asking how important the subject is to you. Remember that having a partner that meets you on this subject is even more important than how you feel about the matter. If you want to wait, you probably shouldn’t be dating women who want to get down to it right away. Or, if you’re interested in getting into the sex up front, a girl who wants to wait nine dates might not be a good fit for you.
We’re not in the business of judging people’s values when it comes to sex, nor telling them what they “should” find important. We’re just here to remind you to do a bit of that soul-searching yourself.
Ok… So How Important Is Sex?
A lot of times, a disagreement over sex can mean something deeper down in the relationship: For example, you share different values overall. A reticence on your part to not have sex might mean that you’re just not that attracted to her, which is totally fine. Even if you are attracted to her, you might not have any kind of chemistry together. That happens even with girls that, on paper, you think are “hot.” On the other hand, if the problem is that you’re just nervous about pushing things forward, that’s on you. Finally, if she’s otherwise perfect, but the sex just isn’t there, your relationship probably isn’t going to work in the long run. People need a healthy sex life. When you’re not having one, it tends to make you resentful and creep into other areas of your relationship and your life.
So the short answer to every question we’ve raised is: It’s up to you. But we at The Art of Charm hope that we’ve given you all the tools you need to answer this question for yourself.
