At The Art of Charm, guys come to us all the time to ask us about why men pull away in relationships: What should you not put up with? That can be a complicated question… but at the same times it’s a lot more straightforward than you would think. No matter who you are, no matter how great your relationship is, there are just some things that you shouldn’t put up with. Here’s a quick run down on what they are.
Deception
We’re not really talking about white lies here. We’re talking about patterns of deception. In fact, a lot of the time when you’re in a deceptive relationship, you’re not even sure if you’re being lied to. You just have this gut feeling that something isn’t right; something is amiss. You’re not sure what it is, but the answers to your questions just don’t add up. Go with your gut here. At the very least, there’s a serious lack of trust in your relationship. That’s one of the main reasons men pull away in relationships.
Fighting
Arguments are a part of any relationship. We get that. No one is perfect and neither are the relationships that the enter into. However, constant fighting is a huge red flag and a reason that men start pulling away in relationships. If you and the woman in your life are having a lot of knock-down, drag-out fights over small things, that’s something that you need to seriously think about. Do you want to live that way? Is that what you’re trying to get out of a relationship? Obviously the answer is no.
Violence
This is a topic that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough when it comes to men. Are you putting up with violence of any kind in your relationship? If so, you shouldn’t be. Abuse is abuse and it doesn’t matter if it’s coming from you or from her. Don’t feel like you have to put up with it. You might not need to run off to a domestic violence shelter, but you do need to start pulling away from the relationship and getting yourself into one that’s healthier and safer for you.
Emotional Abuse
All abuse isn’t physical, and that brings us to perhaps the #1 reason why men pull away in relationships. A lot of guys think that having girlfriends who are putting them down all the time is just her way of joking around. And it might be. But what is it doing to your self-esteem? How is it really making you feel? The whole point of being in a relationship is beign with someone who makes you feel great about yourself and great to be around them. Don’t feel like you have to put up with this and don’t stay in a relationship that’s not making you fulfilled.
A lot of guys say “it’s better than being alone,” but trust us — it’s not.
