How to Meet a Girl Online

For some men online dating is a frustrating experience that involves sending out messages and rarely (if ever) hearing anything back.  But for men who really understand how to meet a girl online, it’s a whole different game.  For them, online dating is a fantastic opportunity to meet tons of amazing women.  To become more like them, here are some dating tips for men on how to meet a girl through online dating.

Cheerful using laptop, at home

How to get women to notice you online

One common online dating mistake men make – and a reason they rarely hear back from the women they message – comes from not knowing how to make a dating profile that stands out to women.  For instance, when talking about their careers, men will simply state “I’m an accountant” or “I’m a lawyer”.

But stating facts is not what turns women on.  So when it comes to talking about your career, don’t just state your job title.  Instead get women interested in you by talking about the impact you have on others through your work.  Don’t say “I’m an accountant” say “I organize people’s lives so that they can spend more time with their kids.”  This adds a depth of emotion that will get the woman to feel engaged with your profile and you’ll become more attractive to women.

Attract women with emotion

An important online dating tip for men to keep in mind is that attracting women online isn’t about telling women who you are… it’s about showing women who you are.  That means that in your profile you don’t want to list a bunch of adjectives about yourself or provide generic descriptions like “I like to hang out with my friends”.

Instead, what makes a good online dating profile is allowing women to get a unique glimpse into your personality.  And a simple, yet effective way to do that is to tell a story.  A brief story about something fun that you and your friends recently did together is going to tell her way more about you (and be much more interesting) than just stating that you like to hang out with friends.  By using stories to convey personality, you’re going to become much more attractive to women online.

To really stand out to women online, be sure to communicate your stories on an emotional level.  That means don’t just state the facts that happened.  Instead, talk about your feelings and internal experiences that took place during the event.  Let her really feel what you felt as you were on that adventure with your buddies.  Igniting a woman’s emotions will go a long way toward successful online dating for men.

How to make women chase you online

Another huge online dating mistake guys make is thinking they need to cast as wide a net as possible to attract women.  But having that attitude of “any woman will do” is not what women find attractive in a man.

Rather, what women look for in a man is that he has standards and knows what he wants.  Women want a man who is selective.  That way when that guy selects her, she knows it actually means something and it helps her feel special.

So be that selective guy and get women chasing you by screening for the specific type of girl you want to meet online.  In your profile, state exactly what you’re looking for in a girl – her personality, the activities she enjoys, etc.  Keep it positive by staying focused on the qualities you want in a girl, not the qualities you don’t want.

How to select online dating pictures

When selecting photos that will attract women to your online dating profile, the trick is to display a lifestyle that women would want to join.   With that in mind, here is some general advice on what pictures to select for your online dating profile (a good online dating profile only needs about 5-6 photos):

  • Use a headshot.  This shows you have nothing to hide, which makes it a great way to get women to feel more comfortable about meeting you.

  • Mix in pictures of you and your friends having a good time.  Attract women to your lifestyle by showing you have a social life – that both guys and girls like you – and you’re not just some guy out there on your own.

  • If you have a good body and want to show it off to attract women, go for it, but in a context that makes sense.  A picture of you and your buddies at the beach where you happen to be shirtless is going to play much better than that bathroom mirror selfie.

  • Use a fun/silly picture -maybe one of you traveling someplace interesting or you dressed up for a costume party.  Get a woman interested in you by providing something unique that will stand out and ignite her curiosity.

How to message women online

The way to send a good first message to a girl online is to keep it short and punchy (2-3 sentences or 2 paragraphs of that size) without going to deep.  Get her to like you and make the girl smile by setting a light, playful tone– then get her to respond to your message by getting her emotionally engaged (or flip it and end on a playful note, either way).

To set a light playful tone, simply throw in a joke, a tease, a playful challenge, or some banter somewhere in your message.  (For more on how to banter with a girl check out the podcasts here).

As for getting a girl to respond to your message by engaging her emotions – the trick there is to scan her profile and try to understand her.  Figure out the things that are really important to her and get her excited.  Then be sure to touch on that subject in your message.

 

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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