What Do Men Want in a Relationship?
It’s the age-old question: What do men want in a relationship? It varies from one man to another, but here’s the thing: Even a lot of men aren’t sure what they want in a relationship. Indeed, some of the work that we do here at The Art of Charm is trying to show men how to figure out what it is that they’re looking for and how to get it. It’s an ongoing process, to be sure, but this is how you can get it started.
What Don’t You Want?
One quick way to start roughing out the edges of what it is that you’re looking for when dating is thinking about what you don’t want. You can think about past relationships and what made you unhappy when you were in them. You probably also have an idea of what things are just total deal breakers for you. This can be a great place to start getting an idea of what it is that you’re looking for — by starting with the negatives.
Ok, But What Do You Want In a Relationship?
Thinking about what you don’t want might get you started, but it’s not going to finish the job. Now you need to start thinking actively about what you’re looking to get out of a relationship. Now isn’t the time to be “reasonable.” Now is the time to shoot for the moon. Think about the perfect relationship for you — what does it look like? Spend some time answering this and don’t be afraid to be bold or even fantastical in naming what it is that you want.
Get Out There and Test It
Now that you’re coming up with a list of the things that you’re looking for in a relationship, it’s time to start putting that to the test. Date women who have some of the qualities that you’re looking for. Do you actually like them in practice or do you just like them on paper? A lot of times you might be into something in theory but not be that into it when it’s actually a reality. The only way you’re going to know the difference is by getting out there and dating some women who embody the qualities you’re looking for.
Revise Your List
Once you’ve done that it’s time to start revising what it is that you’re looking for. You’re going to learn a lot more through the process of dating about what you want than you ever will sitting in a room making a list. So get out there, meet some women and then use the new information to make a new list — like a proper scientist.
A Quick Note on Perfection
We should briefly note that there’s no such thing as a “perfect” relationship. Everything is compromise. The challenge is to know when you’re compromising too much and when you’re compromising in places where the end result (i.e., having her in a relationship with you) is worth it.
So the question isn’t, What do men want in a relationship?, but rather, what do YOU want in a relationship? And always remember that she’s out there looking for you too.
