Why First Impression is so Important

First impression is crucialFirst impressions matter – especially when it comes to a first date.  Doing the right things on a first date sets you up to have amazing experiences with that woman.  But if you mess that first date up, there’s a good chance you won’t even get the chance to see her again.  If you are looking for some help when it comes to making that great first impression, here are a few tips on things to do on a first date.

 

Start off confident and friendly

First dates can have a lot of tension, especially early on.  So an important thing to do on a first date is to relieve that tension and get things rolling on a positive note.  How can you do that?  By doing these two things:

First, be sure to project confidence when meeting the woman at the start of the date.  Keep your head up, make eye contact, and smile.  Let your muscles relax and avoid releasing energy through fidgeting or any other unnecessary and uncontrolled movements.  By projecting that warm, friendly confidence you are going to help her relax and get excited for the date.

Second, get the conversation started with some light, playful banter.  Don’t try and get to anything too personal just yet.  Complimenting something she’s wearing, or perhaps even throwing in some light teasing will help ease that tension so you both feel more comfortable with one another.

Make the date interesting

As for the actual activities and things to do on a first date, look to make the first date experience fun and unique.  Meeting for a drink at a bar can be fine, but meeting at a bar that has pool, darts, or even karaoke can be more fun.  And instead of meeting for dinner, where you both may feel pressured to think up interesting conversations the whole time, invite her over and cook dinner together.  Shared activities like these can take a lot of the pressure off of the conversation and give you something to talk about so the date doesn’t turn boring.

Sit next to each other

If you do wind up going out some place, to a bar, dinner, or anyplace seated, one thing to do on a first date most guys never think about is to sit next to the woman, not across from her.  Sitting across from one another and having a barrier (table) between you creates a more oppositional dynamic.  But sitting next to each other can help you both feel more connected and cooperative, like you are both on the same “team”.

Filter women out

If you want to be the high-value man women chase after, then you want to use dating as a chance to filter women out.  Rather than trying to “get a woman to like you”, get a second date, or take her home, put more focus into finding out whether or not this is the type of girl you would even want to like you, date you, or sleep with you.  Hold higher standards from what you want out of the women you date, and you will naturally come across as more selective and high-value.  Women will have more appreciation for your attention and affection if they see it is something they have to earn – and you are not just giving those things away to any attractive woman that crosses your path.

Show your interest

If you want to make sure your date doesn’t wind up with her saying “let’s just be friends” then you have to show your interest at some point during the date.  How do you this?  One of the best ways to show a girl you are interested is through touch.  Touch her early and often throughout the date.  You could, for example, briefly place your hand on her back or shoulder as you lean in to talk to her.  Or guide her by the small of the back as she walks through a doorway.  By mixing touch into your date you will be able to both show her you are interested while building the sexual tension that exists between you.

Keep strong eye contact

One of the best things you can do throughout the day is make strong eye contact.  Through eye contact alone you can create a deep connection with the woman you are dating.  This is especially important in those moments when things go quite.  If an awkward silence comes, or you are not sure what to say or do, don’t dart your eyes around looking for help.  Let yourself relax by taking deep breathes into your belly, and maintain strong eye contact.  Moments like these will create more powerful connections and do more to build attraction than filling the space with idle chatter.

Take charge

Finally, if you want the girl you are dating to be able to relax and enjoy herself, then it is important for you to take charge.  Don’t put it on her to figure out what to do on the date, where to go, how long it will take, etc.  And certainly don’t wait for her to “make a move” and take things to the next level (she might, but often she’ll want you to do it).  You want to take charge and be the leader throughout the date.  You want to put yourself in the driver’s seat when it comes to planning what to do and taking things to the next level, and she wants that, too.  Because if she knows you have all the logistics of the date covered – if she knows you can step up and go for the kiss when the time comes – then she doesn’t have to worry about any of those things.  She can simply relax and enjoy herself.

Things to do on a first date

For more tips and advice on things to do on a first date, check out this article on first date ideas.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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