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Maintaining a strong, happy relationship can be difficult work – but it doesn’t have to be. Follow the man rules for relationships described below, and you’ll have a much easier time creating loving relationships with the women you date.

Rule #1 More Than Fixing – Understanding Her Problems

One of the most important man rules for relationships is to avoid the urge to try and “fix” her problems. When the girl you’re dating starts venting about the people and things causing stress in her life, don’t just offer your solutions. Because chances are she’s not looking for solutions – she just wants to be heard.

So instead, just listen to what she has to say and validate how she feels. Simply supporting her will create a stronger emotional connection between you. This alone can automatically get her to start feeling better. You can then find out if she’s interested in your advice by asking “Would you like any advice on how to handle that situation?” If she says yes, offer your tips for solving her problem. If not, all she’s really looking for is that connection. So just continue listening and empathizing with her situation.

Rule #2 The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

If you want a quality relationship then you’ve got to set boundaries. You need to draw a line and let your girl know exactly what you will and won’t accept from your relationship. Some guys are hesitant to set boundaries as they’re worried it’ll chase the girl away. But the fact is women are more attracted to guys who set and enforce boundaries. After all no girl wants a guy she can walk all over. Women want a strong man who has standards.

You can set boundaries both in regards to how the girl treats you or how the relationship is defined. You may, for example, find that the girl you’re dating has a habit of teasing you in a way you don’t appreciate. Or perhaps you think she gets a little too friendly with other guys when you go out. In either case, calmly let her know exactly what behaviors you won’t tolerate. If she continues pushing those boundaries you’ll have to find a way to enforce them. That may mean you need to take time (even if it’s just a night) away from her – so she can see you’re serious.

The only power a man has to effect behavioral changes in his woman is the willingness to walk away. If you’re not willing to walk away, she will walk all over you and eventually leave you for a man who isn’t afraid to put his foot down.

Rule #3 Enhancing Intimacy: Giving Your All in the Bedroom

The only time I put a woman’s needs ahead of mine is in the bedroom. I give it my all. It’s a way to show her my appreciation for dealing with all my bullshit. I had an older woman once tell me when I was younger that if I was able to please a woman in the bedroom, then I would always have the upper-hand in whatever I wanted to do with the rest of the relationship. I’ll tell you what, that little piece of advice has always served me well. I have done some lame, irresponsible things to my girlfriends and was still usually taken back and loved even harder.

Rule #4 Keeping the Spark Alive: Continue What Attracted Her Initially

She found you attractive in the beginning because of who you were when you met. A lot of guys get comfortable in a relationship and stop being who they were. They become lazy. Sure, she may not like some of your friends and some of your activities might interfere with the two of you spending time together. Too bad. Giving up your friends and hobbies make you a dull boy. With your hobbies gone, it’s easy to quit caring for yourself. One day, she’ll tell you that she wants to see other people. This is one of the biggest problems that I see.

Rule #5 Personal Growth: Working Through Your Own Issues

When setting boundaries – or working through any other relationship problem – a good relationship rule for men is to avoid assigning blame or making personal attacks. The more confrontational your words and attitude are when trying to work through a problem, the harder it’s going to be reach a resolution.

Instead of calling her names or blaming her for problems, simply let her know certain behaviors are unacceptable. For example, let’s say you’re upset because she never bothered to introduce you to her friends when you were out the night before. Instead of saying “You’re rude, you should have introduced me to your friends” try saying something like “The lack of introduction made it appear to me that you didn’t want me there. Next time I’d appreciate an introduction.” By phrasing it this way you’re not attacking, blaming, or trying to control her. You’re simply stating how the situation appeared to you and what you’d like. As a result she’ll be far more willing to do things your way.

Rule #6 Balancing Life: Making Time for Friends and Hobbies

A great relationship rule for men to follow to make sure a relationship is lifting you up – and not dragging you down – is to carve out some time for yourself. After all you don’t want to be one of those guys who only gets fulfillment from this one relationship. That puts a lot of pressure on things to always go well – and the smallest bumps in the relationship can feel like major catastrophes.

It also puts a lot of pressure on her to be more than what she can be for you. For a man to rely on his woman to be his best friend, emotional support, entertainment, social circle, etc. will make her feel like he depends on her. A man who depends on his woman like that won’t have a woman for long. Women are the dependent gender. Men are the independent gender. It is vital that your woman sees you as the independent leader she can depend on, and not the reverse. Otherwise, your dependence on her will subconsciously push her to find an independent leader who relieves her of the responsibility of being depended on.

So make a point to continue getting satisfaction and fulfillment from other areas of your life. Make time for old friends and the activities you enjoy. Doing so will keep you from needing too much from your relationship. And it’ll be easier to sit back and enjoy the relationship for what it is.

Rule #7 Cherishing What You Have: Never Taking the Relationship for Granted

Guys will often put a lot of energy and effort into getting a girl, but then back-off once they’ve got her. They’ll stop going on fun dates and pay less attention to her as time goes on. This can make a girl feel resentful and under-appreciated, and turn the relationship stale.

To make sure you don’t become one of those guys continue putting effort and energy into your relationship. Surprise your girl with little gifts, phone calls, or messages that show you how much you appreciate her. Keep taking her on fun dates and having new experiences together. Doing all this keeps the relationship strong and exciting, so this is a key relationship rule for men to follow.

However, keep those signs of appreciation from becoming too frequent. There is a delicate balance between showing enough appreciation that she feels you’re the price, and showing too much appreciation that she feels you’re insecure about her staying with you. Men who are insecure about their relationships tend to compensate with too many gifts and compliments.

Only one person in the relationship can be adored. If she is that person, the relationship will last until she finds a man worth her adoration.

Rule #8 Mutual Support: Respecting Each Other’s Life Paths

We all have hobbies and goals and we all get frustrated from time to time trying to forge a head. It is so much easier to push through knowing that someone out there has our back, cheering us on from the sidelines and making us feel like no matter what, they will be there for us. It is truly hard finding people who could really support us through thick and thin. Our friends are not normally going to give us that support that someone who truly loves us can. There is just something special about celebrating victories with someone who believed in us all along.

Rule #9 Building Bonds: Creating Memorable Experiences Together

We have been saying here at The Art of Charm that emotional transfers are the glue that bonds us, and being able to feel can help you transfer emotions more clearly. Putting yourself in emotional experiences together will go a long way. Vacations, watching movies together, hiking or cooking together, etc… These experiences on their own can hold some beautiful emotional moments that you will be able to share together. What’s the old saying? “Those who play together stay together.” Find fun adventures to do together such as horseback riding or going to an amusement park. Explore the world together.

Rule #10 Recognizing When It’s Time to Move On: Making Difficult Decisions

If the relationship no longer does it for you then it may be time to cut the cord and move on. Some guys are hesitant to do this and will stay in the relationship until they find a new girl to date. But this is a huge problem for two reasons: First, it’s wildly unfair to the girl who thinks she’s in a committed relationship. And second, if you’re not fully committed to going after that next girl it’s going to take that much longer to find her. So if you know a relationship is over have that talk and move on. Then you’ll be in a much better position to start a new, fresh relationship with someone else.

(For additional tips on how to create a successful relationship, click here)

More man rules for relationships and advice

The relationship rules for men described above will help you create stronger relationships. But just as important as creating strong relationships is being able to spot the warning signs that a relationship is in trouble. For tips on how to do that check out this article on relationship red flags.