How You Can Earn Self-Esteem

Looking to improve your confidence and self-esteem? They’re very different beasts. Confidence is something you can fake; Not self-esteem, though. That’s something you’ve got to earn. Perhaps hardest of all, you have to earn it from yourself. So how do you earn self-esteem from yourself? How do you tap into that reservoir of value that runs through you? It’s not easy, but once you start getting into it, there’s no stopping it. So here’s how you earn self-esteem from the most important person in the world — yourself.

Earning Self-Esteem: Learn a New Skill

Improve Confidence and Self-EsteemYour new skill can be knitting, a foreign language, woodworking or anything else. The point is that when you learn something new, you tell yourself that this dog is capable of learning new tricks. There are fewer things more powerful in terms of impressing self-esteem into yourself than learning new skills. This is doubly true when we’re talking about skills that you didn’t think you could ever master.

Pick something that you’ve always wanted to learn. Now get up off your butt and start learning how to do it. The more time you put in, the more self-esteem you’re going to grow.

Earning Self-Esteem: Hitting the Gym

Hitting the gym is less and less optional as you get older for a variety of reasons. However, if you’re a guy looking for more self-esteem, it’s time to start hitting the gym. There are a few reasons that your self-esteem is going to increase if you hit the gym: First, there’s what we talked about above — doing things that you didn’t think you could ever do. Second, you’re going to start looking better over time. Third, you’re going to get chemicals released into your brain that make you feel amazing about yourself.

When it comes to tapping into that inner reservoir of self-esteem, there’s really no substitute for hitting the gym and hitting it hard.

Earning Self-Esteem: Having Tight Bros

Men shouldn’t exist in vacuums. So if you’re missing self-esteem, you might be missing out on bros. Your friends are there to act as a measuring stick. They’re there to lift you up by being awesome. When you surround yourself with great guys who are doing great things, you’re going to start becoming a better you by following their example. What’s more, when you roll deep with a tight crew, you’re going to feel like you’re part of something more than just yourself. When you fit in with them, you’re going to realize just how awesome you are.

Earning Self-Esteem: Always Doing Your Best

Whatever you do, whether it’s hitting the gym, going to work or whatever, you want to do your best. You might not always come in first — in fact, sometimes you might come in last — but knowing that you did the best you can do will have you able to lay your head at night. When you work hard at one thing, it’s easier to work hard at other things. That kind of hard work becomes a habit. And that’s a habit that’s going to start building self-esteem.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1124 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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