Some people radiate charisma so effortlessly that it appears having charm must simply be a gift they were born with. Their level of charisma can feel so far from everyone else’s that we look at them and think “I could never be like that”. Whether its famous politicians like Bill Clinton, movie stars like Richard Brand or that old friend from high school who everyone found super charming; it can feel as though that level of charisma is reserved for a select and lucky few. They are the ones with the great social skills, who are good with women, and who everyone wants to have around. Meanwhile the rest of us are shit out of luck, telling ourselves there’s no way we could reach that level.
Well, what if we could?
At first glance the ground that must be covered to reach that level of charm can seem insurmountable. But if you look close, it becomes more manageable. All you have to do is break down charisma and see exactly what it is. Once you understand the pieces that come together to make someone charming, you can add those pieces into your own life.
There are certain behaviors and mindsets that go along having charm that you can work on if you want to be more charismatic. Think about it, what if Bill Clinton had shitty eye contact? What if he constantly seemed distracted or unsure of himself? Would he still be thought of as one of the most charismatic politicians of his generation? No way! Things like focus, eye contact, and confidence go along with charisma, yet are not rigid traits. These are things you can practice and develop.
Every aspect of charisma can be broken down and practiced. You may not be able to turn into Will Smith tomorrow, but what if your voice was just a little lower and smoother? What if your eye contact was a little stronger? What if your smile was a little warmer? What if you gave people your undivided attention whenever you interacted with them, and you treated them as if they were the most important person in the room? If you improved in some of these areas would people see you as having more charm than you had in the past?
And what would happen if you put concentrated effort into these behaviors over time? Imagine you strengthened the elements that make up charisma and over the course of a month became, let’s say, 10% more charismatic. Then another 10% more charismatic the next month. And the month after that. How far could you go? What would it look like? What’s stopping you?
If you want people to find you charismatic, an easy way to start is by listening to others. In our society people just don’t do this very much. During conversations people get wrapped up in their own thoughts. They’re thinking about a text they just got from another friend, figuring out where to get dinner, or just waiting for the other person to stop speaking because they’re waiting for their turn to talk. It happens all the time.
By being engaged in what people say and giving them your full attention it shows they’re worth your time and that you appreciate their perspective. It will make them feel important and they’ll enjoy your company even more. It’s very subtle, but the connection you form by truly listening will get them to see you as a warmer, more likeable and charismatic person.
