The Importance of Confident Body Language

Confident body language is an absolute must when it comes to meeting and attracting women.  Without it women simply won’t see you as a serious dating option.  But with it, meeting and attracting women will be a breeze.  To understand why confident body language is so important, and for tips on how you can show confident body language, read on.

Attract women without speaking

We all know that confidence is one of (if not the most) important traits to have for attracting women.  And when your body language is on point you can show women that attractive confidence without saying a word.  You’ll be able to get women to notice you and feel attracted to you just by the way you carry yourself.

If you want to project that confident body language women find so attractive, here’s what you do:  First, stand tall with your spine straight.  Keep your arms relaxed by your side (crossing your arms across your chest is a defense posture that can show insecurity) while keeping your chest and head up, shoulders back, and a smile on your face.  If you notice any stiffness or muscle tension, take a deep breath and shake it out.  It’s important you’re relaxed when adopting this body language as being comfortable is a huge part in looking and feeling confident.

Develop confidence through your body language

Scientific studies have proven that your body language and facial expressions directly impact your mood (This research was pioneered by a psychologist named Paul Eckman for those of you interested in learning more).  Adopt negative body language (slump your shoulders, shuffle your feet, frown, etc.) and your mood will suffer.  You’ll feel more depressed, insecure, etc.  On the other hand, if you make a point to smile and assume the confident body language mentioned in the section above, then you’re going to actually feel more upbeat and confident.

A great way to really drive this feeling of confidence home is to practice something called the power pose.  Stand with your feet a bit more than shoulder width apart.  Bend your knees to create a strong, steady base.  Straighten your spine, raise your hands in the air triumphantly, look up and smile.  Take big, deep breaths and as you do imagine yourself expanding and touching all four walls of the room (and the ceiling).  Keep this up for about a minute and when that time is up I guarantee you’ll feel more confident.  Try it.  Right now.  I can wait…

Appear confident – even when you’re not

Ever get nervous around women?  If so your body language is going to convey that anxiety and it’s going to make you appear less attractive.  But even if you feel nervous you can still project confidence (and therefore appear more attractive) simply by maintaining confident body language.

An easy way to maintain that confident body language is to keep your body movements smooth and controlled.  Excessive body movements (fidgeting, being overly overly-animated, etc.) will show that nervousness and insecurity.  Keeping your movements calm and purposeful however, shows that you’re relaxed and confident.  It lets women see that you are in control of your emotions and your environment, and that you’re the kind of strong, unshakable man they want.

(For more confidence tips check out these articles on how to be confident with women)

Avoiding common mistakes

One of the common mistakes men make when talking to women is showing too much interest too early. Upon meeting a girl some guys will lean in towards the girl, keep heavy eye contact, and face her with her head, chest, and feet all pointing in her direction (usually guys don’t even realize they’re doing this).  But giving this much positive body language right off the bat can be a huge turn-off for women.  It can make a guy look too easy – even desperate.  This is a huge problem as women want a confident guy who provides a bit of a challenge and makes her earn that kind of attention.

What you want to do then is incorporate a bit of neutral – and even negative body language early on in your interactions with women.  After you greet the girl turn your body so that you’re standing shoulder-to-shoulder instead of face-to-face.  Look away (with purpose, as if you’re looking at something specific) about 50% of the time.  This shows that you’re not completely invested in her yet and for her to get that full interest she’s going to have to earn it.  As the conversation progresses and she proves to have a great personality, give her more and more positive body language (turn and face her, make more eye contact, etc.).

Using body language to build sexual tension

Confident body language is an absolute must if you want to build sexual tension with a woman.  If your body language falls apart when things get tense (you start fidgeting, or turn away from her completely in order to avoid that feeling of tension), then any sexual chemistry you may have created with this woman will disappear.  Once that happens, it may never come back.

So when you feel that sexual tension be sure to hang onto it by maintaining strong, confident body language.  Don’t fight the tension, embrace it and let it be there.  If that’s difficult, simply focus on maintaining eye contact with the girl and while taking steady breaths deep into your belly.  This will slow things down and help you feel more relaxed and comfortable with that tension.  As a result the sexual tension will become even stronger, and she’ll start to feel more and more turned-on.

More on building confidence with women

For more insights into how to build confidence, attract women, and take your dating life to the next level, be sure to follow The Art of Charm on Facebook.  We put up articles and podcasts on a regular basis that will give you a wealth of knowledge when it comes to meeting and attracting women.  Best part, they’re all free.

 

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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