Getting over a breakup can be a painful, grueling process. But a little understanding of how to get over a breakup can make the transition easier – and shift this from a period of pain to a period of growth. If you’ve recently broke up with your girlfriend and are looking for advice on how to move on from a breakup, then this is for you. Below are a few things you can do that will help you not just get through this hardship, but will help you come out a stronger, better person that you were before.
Get over a breakup by learning a new skill
After breaking up with a girl, you’re likely going to find yourself with some extra free time – and you’re definitely going to find yourself spending a lot of that time thinking about your ex. Instead of just wallowing in sorrow, take this time to learn something new. Study a foreign language, start playing an instrument, take judo lessons – anything that interests you. (FYI this point on how to get over a breakup – along with a lot more relationship advice, was brought up in the Pickup Podcast interview with relationship expert Charles Orlando)
Learning a new skill is not just a more productive use of your time, it’s a way to build up confidence and trust within yourself. When you start to see the progress you make in whatever task you’ve picked up, you’re going to feel better about yourself. It’s going to remind you that you that you’re a guy with a lot going for him who can have a fulfilling life after the breakup.
And as an added bonus, learning a new skill is also going to make you an even more interesting and well-rounded guy. As a result, you’re going to have an easier a time attracting women once you start dating again.
How to move past a breakup through exercise
One of the reasons life after a breakup is so tough is because a guy may simply lose motivation. You may feel like you just want to lay in bed all day and do nothing. But this is the worst thing you could do. Passive behaviors (behaviors like laying around, watching TV, surfing the internet, etc) breed depression. So if you don’t stay active, it’s going to be darn near impossible to get over a breakup.
Therefore, one of the keys for how to get over a breakup is to make sure you stay active on a regular basis. Hit the gym, go for a run, play basketball with your friends…whatever gets you moving. If all that is too much, simply start with a nice easy walk outside for 30 minutes or so each day.
Exercising will release endorphins, which is going to get you feeling good. It’s also going to help whip you into shape and get you looking good, which is going to be yet another boost to your confidence and therefore your ability to meet women in the future.
Get over your ex by shaking up your routine
After getting out of a relationship you might find everything reminds you of your old girlfriend. You may be reminded of her every time you drive by that coffee shop she liked, wear that shirt she gave you, etc. There’s no doubt that, even well after the breakup, there are going to be tons of things in your environment and daily routine that end up igniting memories of her.
To keep yourself from constantly being reminded of your ex-girlfriend then, start to shake up your day and your environment. Head to a different coffee shop from the one you’d go to with her. Put that shirt she bought you – and anything else that brings back painful memories for that matter – away for a while (someplace you won’t see it regularly). If you lived together, you may even want to consider rearranging the room (don’t leave her side of the bed/room the way she left it – as if she’d be coming back to it). When you get rid of these external triggers that remind you of your ex, you’ll have an easier time focusing on other (more positive) things in your life and which will help you overcome the breakup.
Move on from a breakup by meeting new women
After breaking up with a girl it’s common for guys to get upset and think “I’ll never date a girl that amazing again”. And the best way to prove this thought wrong is to get out there and meet more women.
You’ll probably meet some through that class you signed up for in order to help learn that new skill. Or maybe the running group you joined to help you stay active. Or the new coffee shop you visit. You can also expand your options even further through things like the bar scene and online dating.
The benefits of dating after a breakup go beyond showing you that the world is filled with amazing women. By going out and showing women a good time, you’re going to see that you are a great guy with a lot to offer. It’ll help build your confidence and own sense of self-worth.
After a breakup, take your time in dating
When you start dating after a breakup, be careful. You don’t want to be the guy who’s just looking to “fill the void” left by the ex-girlfriend. That’s a really good way to come off desperate and clingy. Plus, if you’re in a vulnerable state like that then it’s going to be very tempting to rush into a new relationship– even if it’s with a woman who ultimately is no good for you.
So be patient, take your time, and don’t settle for anything less than the girl who’s right for you. (For more on how to start a healthy relationship, check out the Pickup Podcast Interviews with relationship expert Susan Winter)
