Talking to women is not difficult, but a lot of guys overthink it to the point where it becomes a complex science. If you obsess over every detail of what to say, and scramble to find the perfect words for any given interaction, you’re far more likely to choke and make a complete ass of yourself. So let’s break it down.
First, your words aren’t even the most important thing that you should be worried about. You should be more concerned with your body language, your eye contact and your smile. If you can master these fundamentals, your actual words won’t matter as much. Verbal communication makes up a very small percentage of the overall interaction.
Don’t obsess too much about the actual words. When starting things off, you just need to break the ice. You can use a funny banter line, a general observation or even a sincere compliment. Just remember to keep the conversation positive. If she needs to leave abruptly, you don’t want to leave her with a negative feeling attached to you. Keep it light and fun.
As you banter playfully back and forth, you may notice that she starts to loosen up around you. At this point, it’s safe to make the conversation a bit more personal, but don’t get too personal too quickly. Wait until she naturally becomes more comfortable in the conversation. When she loosens up, you can also express your interest in her. When you let her know that you dig her, it allows her to feel comfortable expressing the same kinds of feelings.
If everything is going well, allow her to talk about her own personal interests. Use open-ended questions to encourage her to share for feelings. For example, instead of asking, “So how do you like being a nurse?” ask, “So what is it about being a nurse that you find so rewarding?” This will garner a much more personal and meaningful response, and will encourage her to open up and connect with you. As she shares, make sure to reciprocate and share your own positive feelings about her—as well as your own—experiences.
