Break Up Advice for Men with Trouble Letting Go

A lot of the break up advice for men out there focuses on how to move on from a relationship and find a new girl. But before you start dating after a break up, it’s important to first create a life where you are happy and fulfilled independent of your relationship status. To reach that point, be sure to follow the tips below on how to move on from a break up.

sad young man on the road and looking at the sunsetMove on from a break up by keeping active
When getting over a break up you’re going to have periods where you feel down and out. One of the most effective ways of breaking the cycle of depression that comes when getting over a break up is to stay active and exercise. Not only will exercise release endorphins in your brain (which puts you in a good mood) but that feeling of accomplishment that comes after a tough workout (and the results you’ll see as your body) will help you build confidence. This daily boost in mood and confidence will be huge in helping you get over a break up.

So when figuring out how to get over a break up, an important thing to focus on is committing about an hour a day to some form of exercise (running, biking, weight lifting, basketball – whatever you enjoy). When possible, exercise in the morning. That will set a positive tone for the day which is going to make it easier to move on after a break up.

Get over an ex-girlfriend (by refocusing your energy)
When dealing with a break up you’re going to find you have a lot more free time than before. Instead of filling that time with passive activities like watching TV or surfing the web (which will only make you more depressed) use that free time as a chance to grow as a man. Move on from your ex-girlfriend and focus your time and energy on something positive – like learning a new skill or exploring a hobby. Not only will the activity itself help you feel better, but looking back on all the progress you’ve made will build confidence – which again is critical when getting over a break up.

So get out there and sign up for a cooking class, guitar lessons, hire a tutor to help you learn a new language – whatever you want. Redirecting time and energy towards something positive like this does wonders for men getting over a break up. (FYI this piece of break up advice for men was mentioned in the Pickup Podcast interview with relationship expert Charles Orlando)

Use social support to get over a break up
Having positive relationships is one of the strongest predictors of happiness there is. If you want to keep your outlook positive and get over a break up successfully, you’ll need to stay connected with people.

So move on from the break up by meeting and connecting with friends regularly while expanding your social circle. Go out and meet new people – perhaps through that new class you’re taking, the gym you signed up for, or other activities (maybe hit up sites like meetup.com to build new connections). Having people around to lift your spirits is absolutely critical when dealing with a break up.

Use the ‘Act As If’ principle to get over an ex-girlfriend
A good bit of break up advice for men that isn’t talked about much is to follow the “act as if” principle. This basically means that to get over a break up you simply act as if you are already over the break up. By “acting as if” you will begin to internally feel and believe that you are over your ex-girlfriend. You’ll be able to move on from the relationship much faster.

For example, you might find yourself lying in bed one morning feeling down about your break up with the girl. In that situation, think of what a guy who is over the break up would be doing – then do that (it may just be taking a shower, eating breakfast, getting work done, etc). Start to go through the motions of someone who has moved on from the relationship and the feeling that you’re over your ex-girlfriend will begin to come naturally.

How to move on from a relationship (by embracing change)
Getting over a break up is all about accepting change and moving on. But moving on from a break up can be tough if you’re constantly reminded of the relationship you’ve lost. So one thing you can do after a break up that will keep you moving forward is to change up your environment.

An effective way to deal with a break up then would be to get rid of the things that remind you of your ex-girlfriend and replace them with something new. For instance, get rid of the shirt she bought you and go out shopping for one you like even better. Also, don’t bother going to the same places and doing the same things you always did with your ex. Instead move on from your relationship by finding new venues and activities to explore. Create a brand new life for yourself to be excited about and you’ll be able to get over that break up much easier.

Bonus tip for men getting over a break up: Be patient
Perhaps the most important piece of break up advice for men is to understand that moving on from a break up is a process. It’s going to hurt and it’s going to take longer than you think it should. In the end there are no quick fixes. But by accepting your situation, taking your time, and following the break up tips for men above, you’ll be able to bounce back stronger than ever.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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6 Comments on “Break Up Advice for Men with Trouble Letting Go”

  1. Pingback: An Analysis Of Solutions In Best Hookup Sites – Care Properties Leeds

  2. So many people struggle after a break up. They need to reconnect with themselves, don’t you think? I think that is the key.

  3. My girlfriend of 5.5+ years broke up with me just after Thanksgiving. I tried for 1 month to get her back, but ultimately she refused my marriage proposal after weeks of trying. For me, the most difficult part of the breakup is acceptance. I am focusing on her different feelings. She does not feel what I feel so the relationship is forever over. The girlfriend that I knew for 5.5 years no longer exists with the same mindset. I have taken the usual steps of stopping communication (even though she wanted to remain in contact), practice gratitude, focus on the positive, keeping active, and stop thinking about her. I like the “Act If” behavior. I have trouble in the morning with missing her. I need to start behaving as I have moved on.

  4. My child’s mum has completely changed on me to the point I don’t know her anymore I really love her and she has moved on from me she telling me to sleep with other girls etc saying I need to get over her it’s so painful as man being told that from someone you have a child with that you once saw a future with 🙁

  5. Could really have used this like four years ago! I am currently going through a rough patch with my ex, she is all I think about. Help!

    1. Split from ex 4 days ago. Her decision, I’m an emotional guy at heart. Was mr popular was mr flash. Decided to ditch all that to make a solid future with ex but now its crumbled slightly struggling too. Coming to these forums and talking about it is def the best option as you realise your not alone

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