How to Let Your Body Do the Talking

Flirting isn’t just about the words you use.  In fact, if you can get good at flirting with body language then the words you say won’t even matter.  You could talk about the most mundane things and your conversations with women would still be sexy and exciting.  To learn how to use body language flirting to spice up your interactions in this way, check out the tips below.

Direct, confident body language

Body language flirting starts and ends with confidence.  After all confidence is the number one thing women want in a man, so confident body language is an absolute must for getting a woman attracted to you.

To show that all-important confident body language when flirting be being direct with your intentions.  If you see a girl you’re interested in walk up to her directly – within a few seconds of seeing her.  This signals to her (and reinforces the belief in yourself) that you are a confident man who is not afraid to go after what he wants.

From there, confident body language comes from standing tall and keeping your body open.  Walk with your head up, spine straight, and shoulders back and relaxed.  Don’t close yourself off by holding a drink across your chest of folding your arms.  Instead, let your arms swing freely by your side and keep your chest open and unobstructed.  This signals that you feel confident and comfortable in your environment as well as your own skin, which an important first step when it comes to flirting with body language.

Eye Contact

Often the most important part of body language flirting is how you make eye contact.  If a girl is getting “lost in your eyes” then what you say or how your body is positioned isn’t going to matter much at all.

Creating that intense, sexy connection where a woman gets “lost in your eyes” starts by making strong eye contact.  If you make eyes with a girl across the room for example, hold that gaze and let her look away first.  Once you start talking to the girl make eye contact about 50% of the time, gradually increasing the amount of eye contact as the conversation progresses (keeping it at 50% early on means you won’t come on too strong).

To really ramp up the sexual tension using eye contact, let yourself enjoy the feeling of attraction you get from talking to her.  If while looking at her all you’re thinking is “Damn you’re sexy…” then it’s going to strengthen that sexual “vibe”.  At a certain point the sexual tension will become so powerful you’ll have no choice but to do something about it.

Breaking the touch barrier

Perhaps the most straight-forward tool for body language flirting is touch.  Touching releases chemicals in the brain that makes people feel good.  At the same time, it gets the girl comfortable being physical with you and plants the seed that perhaps you could get even more physical down the road.

The key to touching is to start early and do it often.  Keep the touches light and brief at first (again so you don’t come off too strong) and gradually increase from there.  You can also take advantage of simple opportunities where touching makes sense, like guiding a girl by the small of her back through a doorway.  Or taking a girl’s hand and leading her around the bar.  Anything you can do to release those chemicals and get her comfortable feeling your touch – do it.

Takeaways

Body language flirting isn’t always about giving positive attention.  Sometimes it’s about taking that interest and attention away.  Turn your body away from the girl at the right moments, and you may find the she starts working to regain your complete attention.

There are a couple times when turning your body away from a girl can help generate attraction.  One is at the very beginning of the conversation.  Right after you meet her, turn your body away so you’re talking side-to-side instead of face-to-face.  This way you won’t appear to be too interested too early.

This kind of body language takeaway can also be mixed into playful teasing.  You can use flirting body language and playfully turn away from a girl while joking about how “it’ll never work out” between the two of you.  Bringing body language into banter like this will make the conversation feel both more natural and more fun.

Finally, you can use this type of negative body language to gracefully show a girl she’s losing your interest.  If she starts acting rude, or simply doesn’t engage in the conversation, you can angle your body away slightly to show that she’s losing your attention.  This subtle movement can make her see that she’s got to change her tune if she wants to keep you around.

Share personal space

A great way to flirt non-verbally is to play with the space between you and the girl.  Stand so close that you’re sharing personal space, and you’ll increase the sexual tension between you.  You can then take a step away and create space as a way of letting that tension go.

Since flirting is all about making and breaking tension in order to keep that mystery of “I wonder if this will go anywhere…” alive, continue to play with that space between you.  Move in close to the girl and let that sexual tension build, then pull away to release it.  Continuously building and releasing that tension will keep the interaction fun and exciting while getting her turned-on.  It also shows tremendous confidence, which will make you appear that much more attractive.

More flirting tips

To learn more about body language and flirting check out the free articles available here.  And if you’re really serious about mastering body language and attraction, then check out http://theartofcharm.com to see how The Art of Charm can help take your dating life to the next level.

Brian M - author of 192 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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