How to Improve Self-Esteem

Knowing how to improve self-esteem will benefit nearly every area of your life.  From meeting women to excelling at your job high self-esteem is critical for success.  For tips on how to improve self-esteem that you can start using right away, read on.

What self-esteem means for you

What would having more self-esteem look like to you?  What would it feel like?  In what specific situations could you use more self-esteem?  These are important questions to consider when looking at how to improve self-esteem.  Once you have a clear view of what you you’ll be able to work towards getting it.

As soon as you know what having more self-esteem would look like for you start to Act As If.  Act as if you already have all the self-esteem in the world.  In situations where you feel insecure ask yourself “What would someone with high self-esteem do right now?” – and then start doing that.  By acting as if that self-esteem is already there you’ll slowly start to feel as if it’s there.  Before long you won’t be acting.  It will simply become your natural way of being.

Surround yourself with positivity

No matter how many tricks you have for how to improve your self-esteem you’re not going to get very far if you’re stuck in a negative environment.  If you spend a lot of time listening to people whine, complain, or be overly pessimistic that negativity is going to infect you.  What you want then is to surround yourself with positivity.  Hang out with positive people.  Turn off the talking heads screaming at each other on TV and listen to something that instead leaves you feeling alive and empowered.  Create a positive environment for yourself and you’ll have a solid foundation to build up your self-esteem.

A great resource to fill up on a daily-dose of positivity is the Art of Charm Podcast (click here and see for yourself).  There you’ll find over 200 hours of interviews packed with tips and advice on how to improve self-esteem, confidence, and become your best self.  As for friends, if you don’t have friends that support you it may be time to reach out.  Joining a weekly men’s group, or an activity group on meetup.com will provide great opportunities for meeting like-minded people and expanding your social circle.

Learn new skill

A great trick for how to improve self-esteem is to take time to master a new skill.  When you see yourself transform from novice to proficient in anything – be it a language, instrument, sport, or whatever – you’re going to see yourself in a more positive light.

The trick to learning a new skill is to put yourself in a position to succeed.  Don’t just say you’re going to learn guitar and think you’ll just go practice whenever you feel like it.  That kind of behavior is why most people quit after two weeks.  Instead create a system that will ensure your success.  Sign up for lessons and set aside 30 minutes a day for practice.  By following the right system, improvement and success will come naturally.

Feeling good in your body

Believe it or not poor self-esteem can often be the result of a crappy diet and a lack of exercise.  These things play a huge role in your mood and how you feel on a daily basis.  If you stuff your face with Doritos and lay on the couch all day, then of course you’re going to feel like crap.  But if you eat right and work out regularly, you’ll start feeling stronger, more powerful, and more alive.  Your self-esteem will get an automatic boost.

As for how to improve your self-esteem through diet and exercise don’t worry so much about making radical changes.  What’s far more important is making small, positive changes you can stick to.  For example if you’re not used to working out regularly then telling yourself you’re going to exercise 2 hours every day is just setting yourself up for failure.  But if you start small, working out just 30 minutes a day, you’ll establish that habit.  Once you’re consistent you can easily build from there, working your way up to a 2 hour workout.

Determine your own value

Low self-esteem often comes when people seek validation outside of themselves.  When they define themselves by their job titles, the women they date, their bank account, their looks, and other external things.

But a guy who defines himself through external means will never be happy.  Rather than seeking that external validation, it’s important to realize that you’re value as a man comes from within.  It’s not something you get or earn.  It’s something you already have.  Something you were born with and nobody can take it away from you.  You determine your own value and you don’t need anybody’s approval or validation to do it.

Build your confidence

Low self-esteem goes hand in hand with low confidence.  If you can build up your confidence, you’re going to get a nice boost of self-esteem as well.

One of the best ways to boost confidence in an area of your life is to get more experience in that area.  For example, many guys lack confidence when it comes to approaching women simply because they don’t have much experience doing it.  But the more experience you get, the more confident you become.

Just like with exercise getting more experience is all about starting small and building momentum.  If just the thought of approaching women fills you with anxiety then start off simply.  Engage with women who are easy to talk to – waitresses, sales girls, clerks, etc.  Start just 2-3 conversations a day and build from there.  When you start to feel comfortable at this level, raise the bar.  Start conversations with women coffee shops, book stores, bars, etc.

Start building self-esteem today

Do you have any questions on how to improve self-esteem?  If so, The Art of Charm customer support agents can help.  Located at the bottom right of your screen they can point you toward the exact resources you need for building self-esteem in both work and dating situations.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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