How To Become Social (Without Being Fake)

Be SocialWhen guys start looking for information on how to become social they don’t always like what they find.  Some of the advice out there can make them feel like they have to completely change their personality and turn into a total fake.  But learning how to become social doesn’t have to be like that.

Being social and being a more authentic, happier person go hand and hand.  Why?  Because being social is our natural state.  Ever notice how fearless little kids are in social situations?  They’re not worried about how they come across and are not afraid to interact with strangers.

But as we grow up insecurities develop and we’re told how we’re supposed to act.  This snowballs over the years and next thing you know being social becomes difficult.  So we have to re-learn how to become social.

If you’d like to learn how to be social without adding on layers to your personality that make you feel fake, we’ve got you covered.  The four steps below will help guide you in social situations.  As a result you’ll have an easier time being social and making a positive impact on the people you meet.

Step 1: Be self-amusing

All too often guys get into the trap of trying to impress others.  They think “I need to show this person how (cool/funny/smart, etc) I am!” and act accordingly.

Trying to impress others is one of the quickest ways to come across as fake.  You end up saying shit that doesn’t align with who you are and people pick-up on this.

Your sub-communications – such as your body language and the way you speak – will eventually sell you out.  People will realize that you’re trying to win them over and it’ll rub them the wrong way.

Rather than putting on a show for others simply look to keep yourself entertained.  Do this shit that makes you laugh and show yourself a good time.  Doing so will it put you in a better mood so being social will become easy and fun.  Plus, people will see all the fun you’re creating and will want to join in.

Step 2: Give out positive energy

Focusing on your own self-amusement will allow you to build up a fun, positive frame.  Now all you have to do is share that positivity with others.  Put a smile on your face and look to boost other people’s moods by being fun and friendly.   Don’t worry about what you get in return, keep your focus on giving and give as much positivity to others as you can.

If they accept it and want to build off it – great.  If not, no problem.  Being social isn’t about forcing people to accept you.  It’s about giving them the opportunity to have a fun interaction.  If they’re not interested at that moment (they’re in a shitty mood, they hate fun, whatever) just roll on to the next person.

Step 3: Own who you are

Knowing how to be social means you know that, on occasion, you’re going to say and do shit people disagree with.  Guys are often tempted to backpedal in these situations, thinking any disagreement could ruin the interaction.

Don’t be afraid of who you are and know that – every now and then – people will disagree AND THAT’S PERFECTLY OKAY.  Don’t feel you need to apologize for your words, beliefs and opinions.  All that stuff is part of what makes you who you are and you shouldn’t discard them at the first sign of tension (besides, tension can often be a good thing… more on that some other day).

For more information on how to become social – and more specifically learn how to use your newfound social skills to enhance your dating life – check out the AoC Online Academy.  It’s got hours of videos and exercises designed to build up your confidence, charisma, and teach you everything you need to know about being social and attracting women.  Sign up now and get the first month for just $1.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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