In today’s episode, we cover networking as an introvert with Matthew Pollard. Matthew is an internationally-recognized consultant, speaker, author, serial entrepreneur with five multi-million dollar business success stories under his belt, and the author of his newest book The Introvert’s Edge to Networking.

Networking when you’re an introvert can feel like a daunting task, so how do successful introverts do it, what advantages do introverts have when it comes to networking, and what can you do to be unforgettable?

What to Listen For

• Why do introverts make the best networkers? – 0:00 
• What is the failing networking strategy many introverts adopt?
• Who are some of the more famous introverts and what can you learn from them?
• What’s the difference between extroverts and introverts when it comes to networking?

• How do you come up with a plan for networking? – 9:20 
• What is the best way to get other people interested in what you have to say or sell?
• What is a unified message and why do you need one to grow your network effectively?
• How important is it to be passionate when networking and what can you do to find the passion in what you do?
• What should you lead with when meeting new people to make sure they don’t forget you as quickly as they met you?
• What mindset will set you up for failure in a networking environment and what mindset should you adopt instead?

• How do you excel at networking online? – 36:18
• Why is it more important to have a clear message when networking online than it is offline?
• What are the challenges you face when networking online and what strategies can you use to overcome them?
• What mistaken strategy do introverts tend to use when networking online and how does it lead to burnout and failure?

Networking is typically associated with extroverts but that doesn’t mean introverts can’t be fantastic at it. Networking is all about building connections with people, and since introverts tend to seek deeper connections than extroverts, introverts have an inherent advantage they can leverage. The key for introverts when it comes to networking is to prepare – find out who will be at a networking event and decide who you want to meet. Do some research into what they do and what you might have in common so you can show genuine interest when you meet them instead of struggling through the initial introduction and conversation.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

• Matthew Pollard’s website
• The Introvert’s Edge to Networking by Matthew Pollard

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

• AJ on Instagram
• Johnny on Instagram
• The Art of Charm on Instagram
• The Art of Charm on YouTube

The post Matthew Pollard | The Networking Mindset for Success and Why Introverts Have the Edge appeared first on The Art of Charm.

“You can’t be tentative. It has to be so practiced that it’s effortless.” -Joshua Spodek

The Cheat Sheet:

• What can a guy with five Ivy League degrees tell us about what’s wrong with the way schools teach leadership and entrepreneurship?
• How do Joshua’s method learning exercises help potential leaders practice and rehearse influence, persuasion, staying calm under pressure, and attracting followers?
• How does opening up in intimate relationships prime us to be more intuitive leaders?
• What can understanding our own inner monologue teach us about being authentic with others?
• Joshua shares the real story about what happened when he worked under a Nobel Prize winner.
• And so much more…

(Direct Download Episode Here)

The skills of leading others and yourself are critical to all relationships — personal, family, business, and everywhere in life. Nearly every class, book, video, MOOC, and other resource teaches you about leadership, not how to improve your relationships. They use lecture, case study, psychology studies, biography, and other resources that may be intellectually challenging, but socially and emotionally passive.

People want to learn the skills of empathy, compassion, self-awareness, how to create meaning and passion, and the other social and emotional skills of leading oneself and others, but you can’t lecture someone into integrity or read your way to self-awareness. Leadership Step by Step: Become the Person Others Follow author Joshua Spodek joins us to fill the gap between education and experience for potential leaders. Listen, learn, and enjoy!

Please Scroll down for Featured Resources!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM!

Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net — 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed!

THANKS, JOSHUA SPODEK!

If you enjoyed this session with Joshua Spodek, let him know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out at Twitter:

Click here to thank Joshua Spodek at Twitter!

Click here to let Jordan know about your number one takeaway from this episode!

Resources from This Episode:

• Leadership Step by Step: Become the Person Others Follow by Joshua Spodek
• Joshua Spodek Academy
• Joshua Spodek at Facebook
• Joshua Spodek at Twitter

Sponsored By:

You’ll Also Like:

• The Art of Charm Challenge (click here or text 38470 in the US)
• The Art of Charm Bootcamps
• Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
• The Art of Charm Toolbox
• The Art of Charm Toolbox for Women
• Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here!

On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Joshua Spodek | Leadership Step by Step (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.

The Cheat Sheet:

• The psychology of entrepreneurialism — the social media hype vs. the reality of starting your own business.
• The Seven Maxims of Entrepreneurship.
• The dip — how to bounce back from an entrepreneurial slump.
• Making the transition from freelancer to entrepreneur to CEO.
• The surprising lesson Tupac can teach struggling entrepreneurs.
• And so much more…

(Download Transcript Here)

Do you believe you deserve to make a certain amount of money based solely on the merits of your ambition? It’s possible you’ve bought into the universally glorified concept of being a “hustler” to live a life of financial freedom that’s being sold in tidy, meme-sized nuggets on social media. But the sobering reality you may not have considered: starting, maintaining, and growing a business to be sustainably profitable is hard work. It’s not all flying around the world in private jets and drinking champagne Mogen David with supermodels Instagram models at Coachella Fyre Festival.

Daniel DiPiazza, author of Rich20Something: Ditch Your Average Job, Start an Epic Business, and Score the Life You Want joins us to dispel the hype and give us the facts, along with actionable exercises so you can find out if the entrepreneurial lifestyle is really for you. Listen, learn, and enjoy!

Please Scroll down for Featured Resources!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM!
Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net — 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed!

THANKS, DANIEL DIPIAZZA!

If you enjoyed this session with Daniel DiPiazza, let him know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out at Twitter:

Click here to thank Daniel DiPiazza at Twitter!

Click here to let Jordan know about your number one takeaway from this episode!

Resources from This Episode:

• Transcript for Daniel DiPiazza | Rich20Something (Bonus)
• Rich20Something: Ditch Your Average Job, Start an Epic Business, and Score the Life You Want by Daniel DiPiazza
• Daniel DiPiazza’s website
• Daniel DiPiazza at Facebook
• Daniel DiPiazza at Instagram
• Daniel DiPiazza at Twitter
• The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss
• Dr. Carol Dweck | The Motivated Mindset (Episode 445)
• The Rich20Something Mixtape
• The Rose That Grew From Concrete by Tupac Shakur

Sponsored By:

You’ll Also Like:

• The Art of Charm Challenge (click here or text 38470 in the US)
• The Art of Charm Bootcamps
• Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
• The Art of Charm Toolbox
• The Art of Charm Toolbox for Women
• Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here!

On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Daniel DiPiazza | Rich20Something (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.

The Cheat Sheet:

• How burnout can be a blessing in disguise.
• Different types of pauses, breaks, and sabbaticals.
• Why taking a pause can be crucial to success at work and home.
• The five signs that tell us when we’re overdue for a pause.
• The best ways to structure the time we block for a pause so we return with renewed clarity.
• And so much more…

(Direct Download Episode Here)

We can be motivated achievers who drive great results and are successful at what we do, but sometimes we’re so busy at what we’re doing that we aren’t thinking about how we’re doing it, or bringing our full selves to a situation. This can lead to burning out, being on autopilot mode, and not feeling very satisfied — despite doing great things in the world. Sometimes taking a pause from the routine is just what we need to get back on track.

Rachael O’Meara, author of Pause: Harnessing the Life-Changing Power of Giving Yourself a Break joins us to explain the signs for recognizing the need for a pause, the types of pauses possible, and a few simple tools to tune in to our emotional intelligence, make an intentional shift, and align to lead a more satisfied life. Listen, learn, and enjoy!

Please Scroll down for Full Show Notes and Featured Resources!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM!

Listen to The Art of Charm, Rock Talk With Mitch Lafon, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here!

THANKS, RACHAEL O’MEARA!

If you enjoyed this session with Rachael O’Meara, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out at Twitter:

Click here to thank Rachael O’Meara at Twitter!

Resources from This Episode:

• Pause: Harnessing the Life-Changing Power of Giving Yourself a Break by Rachael O’Meara
• Rachael O’Meara’s website
• Pausecast
• Rachael O’Meara at Facebook
• Rachael O’Meara at Twitter
• Rachael O’Meara at Instagram

Sponsored By:

You’ll Also Like:

• The Art of Charm Challenge (click here or text 38470 in the US)
• The Art of Charm Bootcamps
• Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
• The Art of Charm Toolbox
• The Art of Charm Toolbox for Women
• Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here!

On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Rachael O’Meara | Pause (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.

The Cheat Sheet:

• Learn how Bushra grew her business from nothing to over a million dollars in sales in just two years.
• Understand why it works to your advantage to flaunt your flaws.
• Discover how persuasion switches work.
• Harness the power of “even if.”
• Find out how to introduce yourself with authority in a way that commands attention while remaining authentic and consistent with your personal brand.
• And so much more…

(Direct Download Episode Here)

Mastering the not-so-dark art of persuasion can allow people to win hearts, minds, and wallets of clients, prospects, and spouses without resorting to manipulation, desperation, or violence.

Bushra Azhar of The Persuasion Revolution joins us to reveal how she uses smart psychology to approach people, to interact with them in a way that resonates with them, and expose them to the right emotional stimulus so that persuasion happens automatically. This knowledge will radically change the way people, especially introverts, will approach persuasion. Listen, learn, and enjoy!

Over at the Mind Pump Podcast, hosts Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews, and Sal Di Stefano “pull back the curtain on the mythology, snake oil, and pseudo-science that pervades the fitness industry.” Check it out here!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM!

THANKS, BUSHRA AZHAR!

If you enjoyed this session with Bushra Azhar, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out at Twitter:

Click here to thank Bushra Azhar at Twitter!

Resources from This Episode:

• The Persuasion Revolution
• The Persuasion Revolution at Facebook
• Bushra Azhar at Twitter
• Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Sponsored By:

You’ll Also Like:

• The Art of Charm Challenge (click here or text 38470 in the US)
• The Art of Charm Bootcamps
• Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
• The Art of Charm Toolbox
• The Art of Charm Toolbox for Women
• Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here!

On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Bushra Azhar | Persuasion Revolution (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.

The Cheat Sheet:

• You’re not really too poor to experience the world: understand the mindset of budget travel.
• Learn how to save money for that trip you’ve always wanted to take.
• Find out how to work overseas.
• Discover why travel solves a plethora of self-improvement goals in one fell swoop.
• How does really traveling differ from a standard vacation?
• And so much more…

(Direct Download Episode Here)

Most people think travel is expensive. “I would love to travel, but I don’t have the money” is what Matt Kepnes, author of How to Travel the World on $50 a Day, cites as the number one excuse he hears from people who eschew voyages to exotic lands in favor of the comforts of familiarity.

Matt joins the show to discuss why you don’t need as much money as you probably think you do to see the world. He did it, and he’ll tell you how you can do it too. Listen, learn, and enjoy!

Over at the Mind Pump Podcast, hosts Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews, and Sal Di Stefano “pull back the curtain on the mythology, snake oil, and pseudo-science that pervades the fitness industry.” Check it out here!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM!

THANKS, MATT KEPNES!

If you enjoyed this session with Matt Kepnes, let him know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out at Twitter:

Click here to thank Matt Kepnes at Twitter!

Resources from This Episode:

• How to Travel the World on $50 a Day by Matt Kepnes
• The Nomadic Matt website
• Matt at Facebook
• Matt at Instagram
• Matt at Twitter
• Help Exchange (HelpX)
• Workaway.info
• Craigslist
• Gumtree

Sponsored By:

You’ll Also Like:

• The Art of Charm Challenge (click here or text 38470 in the US)
• The Art of Charm Bootcamps
• Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
• The Art of Charm Toolbox
• The Art of Charm Toolbox for Women
• Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here!

On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Matt Kepnes | How to Travel the World on $50 a Day (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.

The Cheat Sheet:

• Personality Danger Zones — understanding how other people see us and maximizing the chances of making a positive first impression.
• The upsides and downsides to creativity.
• How positive attributes can translate into pitfalls.
• Do you partake of “idea snobbery?”
• What patterns do Art of Charm listeners have most in common?
• And so much more…

Nearly 4,000 of you in The Art of Charm community have taken Sally Hogshead’s Fascination Advantage Assessment since she visited us for episode 574.

Sally says: “It’s pretty remarkable; I’m excited to be able to share [the results] with you, because we’ve measured a million people and your audience is different than any group we’ve ever measured!”

Join us as we go over the surprising results to discover what makes The Art of Charm audience (that’s you!) so unique and…fascinating.

If you haven’t taken it yet and you’d like to get your own results, it’s not too late; Sally says the test will be open for a while. To discover your advantages in five minutes or less, take the Fascination Advantage assessment here — use assessment code CHARM in the signup form!
Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM!

THANKS, SALLY HOGSHEAD!

If you enjoyed this session with Sally Hogshead, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out at Twitter:

Click here to thank Sally Hogshead at Twitter!

Resources from this episode:

• Fascinate: How to Make Your Brand Impossible to Resist by Sally Hogshead
• Fascination Advantage assessment (use assessment code CHARM)
• Sally Hogshead | How to Fascinate (Episode 574)
• How to Fascinate website
• Sally Hogshead at Facebook
• Sally Hogshead at Twitter

Sponsored By:

You’ll Also Like:

• The Art of Charm Challenge (click here or text 38470 in the US)
• The Art of Charm Bootcamps
• Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
• The Art of Charm Toolbox
• The Art of Charm Toolbox for Women
• Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here!

On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Sally Hogshead | Fascination Advantage Assessment (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.

To be clear, this isn’t an episode of The Art of Charm! The Forbes List, hosted by Jordan Harbinger is a new show that reveals the details behind Forbes’ lists that don’t make it to the magazine or online. You’ll get a deeper look at what it takes to put together Forbes’ lists of the top companies, wealthiest people, and biggest celebrities in the world.

In this first episode, Forbes Assistant Managing Editor Kerry Dolan joins Jordan to discuss:

• How Forbes verifies wealth.
• How list makers spend their money.
• How inherited and self-made billionaires differ.
• How list makers respond to rank.
• The drastic measures one billionaire took to get off the list.

If you like what you hear, subscribe to The Forbes List at PodcastOne. If you’d like to hear full episode of The Art of Charm, you can keep tabs on us here.

THANKS, KERRY DOLAN!

If you enjoyed this session of The Forbes List with Kerry Dolan, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out at Twitter:

Click here to thank Kerry Dolan at Twitter!

Resources from This Episode:

• Kerry Dolan at Forbes
• Kerry Dolan at Twitter

You’ll Also Like:

• The Art of Charm Challenge (click here or text 38470 in the US)
• The Art of Charm Bootcamps
• Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
• The Art of Charm Toolbox
• The Art of Charm Toolbox for Women
• Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here!

On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Kerry Dolan | The Forbes List (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.

The Cheat Sheet:

• You didn’t evolve to live in the captivity of the cubicle, behind a desk, in front of a computer all day — every day.
• Getting as close back to primal movement as you can will make you more resilient, injury-free, and more energized.
• Your movement diet is just as important as your food diet.
• Three movement deficiencies almost everyone has and how to reverse them.
• Take Jonathan’s 30-day Primal Squat Challenge.
• And so much more…

If you live your life hunched over a keyboard, neck craned at an absurd angle to gaze into the eye-straining light of a computer display, then you’re probably like a lot of the western world’s modern workforce. In the process of communing with machines, have you lost touch with the wildness that formed you over millions of years of human evolution?

Jonathan Mead of Uncaged Man joins us for this bonus episode of The Art of Charm to tell us how we can break free from the grind and reclaim our place in that wildness through making our bodies move as they were designed to move. To help us get started, he throws down this gauntlet for our listeners: the 30-Day Primal Squat Challenge!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM!

(Direct Download Episode Here)

THANKS, JONATHAN MEAD!

If you enjoyed this session with Jonathan Mead, let him know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out at Twitter:

Click here to thank Jonathan Mead at Twitter!

Resources from this episode:

• Join the 30-Day Primal Squat Challenge here!
• Jonathan Mead’s website
• Jonathan Mead at Instagram
• Jonathan Mead at Twitter

Also sponsored by:

You’ll also like:

• The Art of Charm Challenge (click here or text 38470 in the US)
• The Art of Charm Bootcamps
• Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
• The Art of Charm Toolbox
• The Art of Charm Toolbox for Women

On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Jonathan Mead | Uncaged Man (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.

The Cheat Sheet:

• We all need help from time to time; there’s absolutely no shame in seeking therapy — just as there’s no shame in consulting a tutor if you need help getting through trigonometry or organic chemistry class.
• Finding a therapist is like finding a dentist or any other professional who will have a meaningful impact on your life. You want to make sure you have a comfortable relationship.
• How do we begin the search for a good therapist?
• Here are five steps you can take in preparation for finding the right therapist.
• Something a lot of people don’t know: if you have insurance, it likely does cover some degree of therapy and overall mental health care. Contact your representative for specifics.
• And so much more…

Here at The Art of Charm, we do our best to help people become top performers at life, love, and at work. We pick the brains of the best and pass what we learn on to you, but we’ll be the first to admit that sometimes there are things going on in your world that are beyond our expertise. In instances like these, we defer to the appropriate professionals. Sometimes this means a trip to a medical professional, and sometimes this means a visit to a therapist. But in the latter case, if you’ve never been to a therapist, you may not even know where to begin finding one.

In this bonus episode of The Art of Charm, we talk to makeover and confidence expert, dating coach — and, yes, licensed therapist — Kimberly Seltzer about how to take what may be a difficult first step in getting the professional help you need.

Improve your social capital and inspire more people to develop a personal and professional relationship with you by joining the first Art of Charm Social Capital Challenge here (and invite your friends)!

More About This Show

At some point in your life, you may benefit greatly from the help of a therapist. The problem is, some people are under the impression that seeking this kind of help is a sign of weakness. Even Tony Soprano spent six seasons looking over his shoulder for fear that paranoid “business colleagues” might catch wind of his therapy sessions and exploit them as proof that he was unfit to lead.

But maybe that’s just because he lived in New Jersey. On the other side of the country, in Los Angeles, it’s a different story. Here, people are liable to look at you funny if you confess to not having a therapist. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter where you’re from or what the local cultural attitude happens to be toward therapy; you’re the one who best knows if you need it or not.

Finding a therapist is like finding a hairdresser, a doctor, a dentist, or any other professional who will have a meaningful impact on your life — you want it to be a good fit. You have to be comfortable talking to the therapist about things that you’d usually reserve for a close friend — and possibly then some.

Kimberly Seltzer’s Five-Step Process for Finding a Good Therapist

1. Look at your personal goals. Really ask yourself what is it that you want in your life. How do you want it to look? What are some challenges that you’re having? If things were to change, how would your life look if you achieved those goals? Get clear on what it is you need help with. There are a number of ways you can do this. Kimberly suggests “taking out a piece of paper and thinking about, first of all, things that are difficult for you.”

Examples include: I have a hard time in social situations. I tend to be pretty shy. I have a hard time initiating. I get down on myself a lot. I have a hard time with confidence.In the second column, list your goals toward overcoming these challenges. Kimberly’s examples: In social situations, I’d love to be able to walk in a room and feel comfortable and actually engage and initiate in conversation. I’d love to feel happy 80 percent of my day rather than only 20 percent.

“The more specific you can get,” says Kimberly, “and the more measurable, it’ll be easier to really take a look at what it is you need.”

2. Look at the value of what therapy is for you — both on a personal level and a financial level. “I invite everybody to check in with yourself about how you value yourself and what you are willing to invest to feel better,” says Kimberly. “A lot of people don’t value therapy. It’s not tangible. It’s not something you can see or feel or touch like a TV or a stereo.”

But if you can look past this and understand that if you need therapy, money invested toward that purpose is money that’s going toward a dramatic improvement in your life — which is tangible in countless ways.As far as how much that investment will be, always check with your insurance company first to find out what it will (and will not) cover. Specifically, clarify the number of sessions and what type of therapists are covered.

“Mental health is covered on most people’s benefits,” says Kimberly. “They don’t know that.” Bonus tip: some therapists work on a sliding scale for people who either have limited benefits or no insurance at all.

Unless they’re lawyers, apparently. Live and learn.

3. Research and understand the different type of therapists and centers that are out there. In the last step, you evaluated the type of budget you can afford to spend on therapy. If you find that your insurance doesn’t make it as affordable as you’d like, there are community centers and programs designed specifically for college students (to name just a couple of your most likely options).

“What gets confusing is there’s a lot of degrees out there,” says Kimberly. “And in each state, it varies, so it’s hard to kind of speak to the masses. Because when I lived in Chicago an LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), which is the degree that I have, we were kind of the clinicians. We were the therapists. I moved here to California and it was different. Even though we could practice, it was just different.

“In other words, your mileage will vary based on your locality and what type of therapy is practiced by degree where you live.

Here are some of the common ones you’ll come across:

• MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy)
• LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker)
• PsyD (Doctor of Psychology)
• MD (Doctor of Medicine)
• MHC (Mental Health Counselor)
• Coach

And then there are theoretical orientations. Some examples:

• Cognitive
• Behavioral
• Psychoanalytic
• Integrative
• Family Systems

Oh! Let’s not forget the nearly countless varieties of therapeutic techniques!

Honestly, don’t let all of this information overwhelm you — we’re just trying to demonstrate that no matter what it is you’re going through, there are numerous ways of addressing it. Again, regional variations are more easily sussed out by researching what’s available in your area.

4. Determine your level of commitment. How much time are you willing to put into therapy? You have to look at your own patterns. What is your tendency for follow-through and taking responsibility? “You could say, ‘I’m going to go to therapy!'” says Kimberly. “And you kind of announce it to the world. And then you go to one or two sessions and you’re like, ‘It didn’t work. This sucks.’ You have this thing in your mind that therapy sucks. But really, if you look at the pattern of your own behavior, how often in your life do you do this — where you don’t follow through and then you blame outside of yourself?

“It might indicate why you needed therapy in the first place, but also that the particular type of therapy you ended up with wasn’t quite the right match for your personality and situation. As you saw in the extensive lists of information above, there’s almost certainly someone who specializes in addressing your particular set of problems that need work.

Some people respond well to art therapy, for instance, while others will get zero benefit out of the experience. Don’t let a bad match stop you from trying something else!

5. Determine your level of comfort with the therapist you choose. Kimberly recommends interviewing at least a couple of them after you’ve done your research.

“Hop on the phone,” says Kimberly, “and/or actually have a free session; a lot of them will offer a free session or free consults — maybe not for the full time, but maybe for 15 minutes or something like that. Get their body language; get their vibe. Do you feel comfortable? Are they communicating in your language? Are they talking to you in a way that you understand and feel comfortable with? More important, do you feel like they “get” you and understand you? That’s huge.”

“A lot of times, maybe you like somebody, but then the things that they’re saying, they’re totally off. They’re not getting you. And that’s okay. Not everybody is a match, so don’t give up…if there’s one therapist and it doesn’t work, don’t generalize and say, ‘Oh, therapists suck,’ or, ‘I hate therapy.’ Really give it a chance and talk to as many people as you can!”

Remember, if things in your life just aren’t making sense, or you feel like you have all the pieces of the big puzzle in place but you just don’t know how to put them together, therapy may provide you with the breakthrough you seek. Even if you’re just looking at these five steps and understanding the idea behind them right now, you’ll be all the more ready to pursue therapy with an informed approach when you decide it’s time.

THANKS, KIMBERLY SELTZER!

If you enjoyed this session with Kimberly Seltzer, let her know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter:

Click here to thank Kimberly Seltzer on Twitter!

Resources from this episode:

Kimberly Seltzer’s website
Kimberly Seltzer at Facebook
The Great Love Debate
Kimberly Seltzer at Twitter
The Art of Charm bootcamps
Improve your social capital and inspire more people to develop a personal and professional relationship with you by joining the first Art of Charm Social Capital Challenge here (and invite your friends)!

You’ll also like:

-The Art of Charm Toolbox
-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
On your phone? Click here to write us a well-deserved iTunes review and help us outrank the riffraff!

The post Kimberly Seltzer | How to Find a Therapist (Bonus) appeared first on The Art of Charm.