Dating can seem like a torturous uphill battle for many men and women, but it doesn’t have to be – understanding how and why we are attracted to one another can have a significant positive impact on your ability to find happiness in your love life, but how do you take the science behind attraction and use it to make dating fun and engaging?
What to Listen For

• What is signaling theory?
• What are fitness indicators and why are they so important to understand in the dating scenario?
• What scientifically is shown to make you more attractive in terms of signaling?
• How much of our behavior is guided by natural selection and what does the answer imply about humanity?
• When you want to dance in a social setting, what is more important than being able to dance well?
• What are many people doing wrong when it comes to their profiles on dating apps?
• What should you include in your dating app profile?
• Should you get professional photos done to use on dating apps?
• Why are we entering a new era of dating and what can you do to ensure you’re able to adapt?
• Why is working out a crucial foundation to start with when it comes to working on yourself from a self-development perspective?
• What is a tender defender and why should you aspire to it?
• What does it mean to stay true to yourself and how might you be interpreting it in a way that sabotages your behavior?
• As a parent, how do you create an environment for your child to develop grit, success, and resilience when they reach the dating age?

Remember that you are alive today because every one of your ancestors was able to find a partner and start a family. You have the genetics to find the relationship you want, but it will likely take work to find it. Not only is it important for you to want to work on yourself for the sake of striving to be the best version of yourself, but it’s also important for potential partners to see that in you, so they know you are open to new ideas and experiences as well as always wanting to work on being the best partner.
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Resources from this Episode
The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller
Geoffrey Miller’s website
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram

The post 759: Dr. Geoffrey Miller on 5 Signals to Send When Dating appeared first on The Art of Charm.

In a world of seemingly limitless options, how can you know if a person is THE person for you, what questions can you ask yourself to determine if you’re even ready for a relationship, and how do you stop money from driving you two apart the way it does for countless relationships and marriages?

The post 753: Love, Money and Relationships appeared first on The Art of Charm.

About This Episode

Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of life, and for many, it can feel overwhelming – but what important lessons can your relationship with uncertainty teach you, how can you improve the relationship with uncertainty, and what are some real-world examples of handling uncertainty in a positive way?
What to Listen For

• How can purpose help you overcome and push through uncertainty in life when making big decisions as well as small decisions?
• What exercise can you start doing now to help you deal with anxiety and uncertainty in your everyday life?
• How does indecisiveness impact the feeling of uncertainty in life and what can you do if you have a bad relationship with indecisiveness?
• What is the best advice for someone entering a leadership role at work for the first time?
• Why is communication so important in a leadership or management role and what tips can you start implementing today to improve your team’s productivity?
• What do many of us do to contribute to a toxic work environment and what can you do to start reversing the damage before it’s too late?
• How do you make friends when moving to a new city where you don’t know anyone?
• What easy questions can you use at the next meetup or networking event to spark conversations with new people?
• What’s the best way to follow up with new contacts after a networking event?
• What is the Social Sales Funnel and why is it so effective at building new friendships and relationships no matter where you live?

As humans, we evolved to look for patterns in order to feel more secure about our surroundings, because a lack of familiarity in the wild could mean you are not in a safe location. Uncertainty makes its appearance in the form of not knowing how something will turn out – that job interview, the presentation at work, the third date with your new crush, whether or not you’ll be able to sell the house in time, etc. The list goes on forever because there is an infinite number of events to be uncertain about, and depending on how attached you are to the event (or more likely, the outcome of the event), the more stress and anxiety the uncertainty can cause you.
It is critical to your future happiness and success to be comfortable with the discomfort uncertainty brings because life is full of uncertainty and there is no way to eliminate it from your life. Start building a positive relationship with uncertainty today and you will certainly be closer to a more enjoyable life tomorrow.

A Word From Our Sponsors
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Go to stateandliberty.com and type in the code CHARM to get 10% off your first order or mention this podcast at any of their locations.

Resources from this Episode
Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain
Episode 743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work

Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram

The post 752: Essential Tools for Navigating Everyday Uncertainty appeared first on The Art of Charm.

If you want to pursue your own happiness and fulfillment, you are bound to make decisions that confuse or disappoint the people around you, which can lead to doubt and uncertainty in your own head. So what can you do to stay focused on your goals, how do you handle the mixed emotions of those around you, and why can trying to live up to the expectations of others lead to a life of endless regret?

What to Listen For

• Why does Jay Shetty give credit to Eminem for the way he approaches storytelling?
• AJ asks Jay how he made the decision to become a monk at such a young age, leaving everything he knew behind
• How did Jay Shetty’s fun-filled successful life in London finance compare to his modest living as a monk in India?
• What 3 things did Jay Shetty notice in the person who inspired him to pursue life as a monk, and why are they so important to be happy?
• How do you deal with the toxic people you cut out of your life before achieving some success but who later want back in once they see how successful you’ve become?
• Jay touches on how to handle doubt and resistance from the people you love when you want to make a life-changing decision
• How do you deal with self-doubt and perfectionism when you’re trying to consistently create content with a far-reaching impact?
• Why is it easier said than done to “Just be yourself” and what tips can you start using now to be more comfortable being you?
• How are your passion, purpose, and happiness inextricably linked, and how can you develop your passion into a purpose to build your happiness?
• If you love telling stories, how do you turn that love into full-time work?
• How do you curate an inner circle you can trust and rely on for support as well as honest feedback and advice?

You only get one life. You know this, but many of us don’t live our lives with that understanding in mind. It’s an important idea to comprehend for one simple fact: you don’t live anyone else’s life, and they don’t live yours. If you want to be happy and fulfilled you must make the decisions you want to make and not the decisions other people want you to make. No matter what you do, there will be people who are going to question you and doubt you, which is why it’s critical you believe in yourself and make your dreams priority number one.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today.

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Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus. Visit eero.com/charm and at checkout enter CHARM

Resources from this Episode
Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship
The Journey Home by Radhanath Swami

The Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran

Jay Shetty on Instagram
Jay Shetty on Twitter
Jay Shetty on Facebook
Jay Shetty’s Podcast
Check out our listener Arien Ney’s Instagram
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram

The post 750: Overcoming Self-Doubt with Jay Shetty appeared first on The Art of Charm.

About This Episode

How can toxic people make you feel like you are losing your mind, what can they do to turn your coworkers and friends against you, and what is the best way to deal with them before the damage gets out of control, potentially leading you to lose a job, a relationship, or even your friends.

What to Listen For

• Why is it so important to remove toxic people from your professional or personal social circle?
  
• What two proven ways can you use to remove toxic people from your life?
  
• How can a toxic person make you doubt your decision to cut them out?
  
• How do toxic people work to turn your friends and coworkers against you?
  
• What is gas lighting and how do toxic people use it against you to make you feel like you are losing your sanity?
  
• What are the signs you can look for to know when you are being gas lit and what should you do if your recognize these signs today?
  
• How do you go about dealing with toxic family members to remove their toxic influence on you?
  
• What can you do to deal with toxic coworkers since how you handle it could impact your job security?
  

It’s one thing to understand the behaviors of toxic individuals so you can recognize them immediately and prevent them from getting deep enough in your life to cause any real damage. Many of you, however, might just now be identifying which of the relationships in your life are indeed toxic, and that can make it a significantly more delicate and difficult problem to address.

It is crucial to approach the problem as soon as you can to prevent the toxic individuals from doing any further damage, and once you do, you must stand by your decision. Toxic people can change, but the kind of change they must go through is not the kind of change that is going to happen after you allow them back into your life just because they got on their knees and begged for your forgiveness.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Instagram

The post 749: How to Handle Toxic Relationships appeared first on The Art of Charm.

(Download Episode Here)

About This Episode

Toxic relationships exist in all of our lives in varying degrees, but what defines a toxic relationship, how can you identify toxic relationships in your life, and what can you do if you find out you are exhibiting toxic behavior?
What to Listen For

• What is the definition of toxic when it comes to relationships?
• How do you recognize when a relationship is toxic and what can you do to rectify the situation or walk away from it?
• What are the 7 surefire ways of identifying a toxic person and what is the best way to handle
• How can you recognize when you are the toxic half of a relationship and what can you start doing now to make sure you don’t ruin the relationship?
• What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself to determine if a relationship is toxic?
• Can you rid yourself completely of toxic relationships?
• What does it mean to be high value?
• What are 3 high values behaviors you can identify in non toxic individuals and how can you implement them in your own life?
• What does it mean to exhibit cooperative behavior and why is it important if you want healthy relationships and significantly less stress?

Toxic individuals and toxic relationships are an unavoidable part of interacting with other people. It’s a numbers game – if you meet enough people you will eventually bring toxic people into your life. That’s ok, what matters is how you handle the situation once it’s in front of you. And while toxic relationships can have a damaging impact on your life in a variety of ways, it’s important to remember that the toxic individuals are still human, and aren’t necessarily bad – they’re just bad for you.
We all go through phases in our lives and each of these phases asks different things of us and of those people we bring into our lives. It’s important for you to be conscious of what is good for you and what is detrimental, and just because a relationship or friendship is toxic for you at one time it does not necessarily mean that person can never be a part of your life. Establish boundaries, allow yourself to forgive from time to time, and prioritize your health and your needs – always put your oxygen mask on before helping the person next to you.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain”

Resources from this Episode
Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris

Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram

The post 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship appeared first on The Art of Charm.

(Download Episode Here)

About This Episode

We all go through various acts in our lives, and each act carries with it its own challenges and relationships, so how can you take the experience, battle scars, and lessons you learned in one act as you transition into the next?
What to Listen For

• How did Kobe Bryant’s relationship with Phil Jackson influence his Wizenard series of books?
• Why is it important to embrace the adversity in life rather than avoiding it?
• What are the biggest life lessons Kobe wants you to take away from his Wizenard book series?
• Is vulnerability a sign of weakness?
• How does having children change you as a person and the way you perceive yourself?
• How can an unwillingness to go the extra mile actually be indicative of a fear of failure rather than simply avoiding extra work?
• How do you assemble an inner circle of people you can trust?
• If championships were Kobe Bryant’s Mt Everest in the past, what is his Mt Everest now and how is he going to conquer it?
• Who are Kobe Bryant’s mentors as he enters the 2nd act of his life?

Life is a journey, not a destination, and if you look at your own journey you can usually split it up into segments, each with its own defining theme or challenge you had to overcome. The wonderful aspect of looking at your life in this way is that it allows you to identify what you learned and the strengths you gained from each segment. Every challenge you overcome in life strengthens you, grants you more wisdom, and makes you a more capable human overall.
Adversity in life is key to strengthening you physically, mentally, and emotionally. We should not try to avoid adversity, but to seek it, embrace it, and rely on it to make us better.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode
Granity Studios
The Wizenard Series: Training Camp
The Mamba Mentality
Kobe Bryant on Twitter
Kobe Bryant on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram

The post 746: The Kobe Bryant Episode appeared first on The Art of Charm.

(Download Episode Here)

About This Episode

Filtering the right people into your life is a skill that can set you on the path to success if you can do it well, and failure if you do it poorly – but how do other people have such a strong influence on your life and what can you do to make sure the people in your life aren’t leading you down a road to failure and discontent?

What to Listen For

• How do the people you surround yourself impact your ability to be happy and accomplish your goals?
• How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause?
• What are “value vampires” and how can you recognize them early on so they don’t waste your valuable time and energy?
• What does it mean to be a high value individual and how can your pursuit of it help you avoid pain, suffering, and massive hits to your confidence?
• What do high value individuals do that set them apart from others and lead them to be pursued by everyone else?
• What is a “friend audit” and how can you perform one to ensure you’re not spending time with the wrong people who are bringing you down or holding you back?
• Can you avoid the influence people around you have (especially when you work with them all day)?
• What is the difference between gossiping and venting and why is one dangerous while the other is healthy?
• What one question can you use to disarm people who try to gossip with you and shift the conversation into a constructive direction?

When you allow a low value people into your life, you don’t just bring them into your life, but their friends, their problems, baggage, low value behavior, and values and beliefs. We as humans are influenced by our surroundings more than we think, and it can be a scary thought to confront the possibility that the people closest to you are doing the most harm when it comes to your ability to move forward in life and be happy. As scary and as hard as it might be, performing an audit of your social circle could be the first step in helping you achieve your goals and/or get unstuck if you feel your progress has stalled for a while.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain

Resources from this Episode
Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors
Episode 694: Becoming High Value
Episode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship
Episode 738: What Defines Happiness
Episode 739: The Key to Happiness
Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness
Episode 741: Train Your “Happy” | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMoment
hiMoment App
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Twitter

The post 742: The Hidden Power of Relationships appeared first on The Art of Charm.

(Download Episode Here)

About This Episode

Happiness is not a destination, but what does it mean to enjoy the journey, especially when the journey is bound to have rough patches, and what daily habit can you start doing now to make the journey a happy one?
What to Listen For

• How can journaling improve your overall happiness and what one question can you use as a prompt everyday to get you started on the right track?
• Why do the big moments we look forward to (graduation, wedding, promotion, etc) have little to no impact on our overall happiness?
• Is the difference between happy people and unhappy people the events in their lives or the way they perceive the events?
• If happiness is a choice, what can you do to maximize that choice?
• How do your friends, family, and coworkers influence your ability to be happy?
• If you’re going through a break up, what can you do to help mitigate the pain and sadness you feel so you don’t get stuck?
• How can striving for success for the wrong reasons lead to you failing to be happy?
• What is contributing to all of the misinformation about happiness?
• How do you deal with the endless potential comparison forced upon us by social media?

Your happiness is like a muscle, one that needs regular training in order to get stronger and one that can atrophy if it is left alone for too long. You’re not going to get stronger if you train once or twice a year, so when it comes to your happiness, you’re not going to get happier if you rely on the occasional event throughout the year.
The biggest difference between happy people and unhappy people is not the events in their lives, but the way they perceive the events in their lives. If you allow the events to determine how happy you can be, you’ll never be as happy as someone who decides to be happy regardless of the events in their lives.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase.

Resources from this Episode
Episode 738: What Defines Happiness
Episode 739: The Key to Happiness
Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness
hiMoment App

Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Twitter

The post 741: Train Your “Happy” | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMoment appeared first on The Art of Charm.

(Download Episode Here)

About This Episode

Happiness is not meant to be a permanent state you exist in, but if you’re not meant to just feel good all the time, what is the end goal of creating our happiness and how do we approach the inevitable pain and suffering we all face in life?

What to Listen For

• Why can negative emotions be your best friend when it comes to your happiness?
• Russ Harris debunks the popular myths about happiness and explains how they can actually lead you to be miserable
• In what ways are meaning and purpose related to your ability to maintain your happiness in the long term?
• How does Russ Harris define a rich and meaningful life that leads to an overall feeling of happiness?
• What can you do to be more comfortable and accepting of “negative” emotions and how does doing so help you avoid suffering?
• What is the difference between values, virtues, and morals?
• Why is it so important to define your values if you want to lead a rich and meaningful life full of happiness?
• Russ Harris explains what the “reality gap” and “reality slap” are and how your awareness of them can lead you to better handle life’s challenges
• What is the magic wand question and how can you use it to narrow down your most important values
• How do you translate values into goals and action plans to ensure you don’t stagnate?

One of the most popular myths revolving around happiness is this idea that once you “achieve” it you’ll transcend feelings like anger, sadness, pain, and hate, but these are all part of the full depth of human experience. To attempt to remove them from your experience is to remove a part of your humanity. We utilize all of our feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and the world we live in.

Instead, we want to change the way we look at such emotions, strive to understand what is causing you to feel unpleasant emotions, and make better choices about how you respond to them when you start feeling them. Finally, we want to learn to look inward for explanations instead of reacting outward with blame and spite.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain”

Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM.

For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. To start your free deliveries, download the app RIGHT NOW and use code “CHARM2019”

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

Resources from this Episode
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris

Mindfulness Myths on YouTube

The Choice Point on YouTube

ACT Questions and Answers: A Practitioner’s Guide to 150 Common Sticking Points in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris

Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Twitter

The post 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris appeared first on The Art of Charm.