Relationship Management

Men and women should make sure that they are taking care of themselves first before they try to take care of other people. It always seems like the minute you allow someone to be the number one priority in your life is the minute they have nothing to work for anymore. They become bored and start looking for the next shiny object. Whether it is a man feeling like he is number one or a woman’s fight to make herself your number one, they both can become bored. The man can get lazy and his girl gets to looking.

Here are a few rules that I have used to guide my relationships:

1. Give her everything you have in the bedroom.
The only time I put a woman’s needs ahead of mine is in the bedroom. I give it my all. It’s a way to show her my appreciation for dealing with all my bullshit. I had an older woman once tell me when I was younger that if I was able to please a woman in the bedroom, then I would always have the upper-hand in whatever I wanted to do with the rest of the relationship. I’ll tell you what, that little piece of advice has always served me well. I have done some lame, irresponsible things to my girlfriends and was still usually taken back and loved even harder.

2. Continue to do what you did to initially attract her.
She found you attractive in the beginning because of who you were when you met. A lot of guys get comfortable in a relationship and stop being who they were. They become lazy. Sure, she may not like some of your friends and some of your activities might interfere with the two of you spending time together. Too bad. Giving up your friends and hobbies make you a dull boy. With your hobbies gone, it’s easy to quit caring for yourself. One day, she’ll tell you that she wants to see other people. This is one of the biggest problems that I see.

3. Spend time exploring each others minds.
The more you try to get the other person invested in the relationship, the more they will want to get out of it. The more you are able to explore each others emotions, the better connected you become. It makes it really hard for your partner to look at someone else and see someone that could fulfill them emotionally as you do.

4. Support each other in the paths you have chosen.
We all have hobbies and goals and we all get frustrated from time to time trying to forge a head. It is so much easier to push through knowing that someone out there has our back, cheering us on from the sidelines and making us feel like no matter what, they will be there for us. It is truly hard finding people who could really support us through thick and thin. Our friends are not normally going to give us that support that someone who truly loves us can. There is just something special about celebrating victories with someone who believed in us all along.

5. Create memorable experiences together.
We have been saying here at The Art of Charm that emotional transfers are the glue that bonds us, and being able to feel can help you transfer emotions more clearly. Putting yourself in emotional experiences together will go a long way. Vacations, watching movies together, hiking or cooking together, etc… These experiences on their own can hold some beautiful emotional moments that you will be able to share together. What’s the old saying? “Those who play together stay together.” Find fun adventures to do together such as horseback riding or going to an amusement park. Explore the world together.

Johnny Dzubak - author of 53 posts on The Art of Charm

Johnny happened upon the field of Social Dynamics and dating coaching quite by accident. Having been a touring musician much of his life, he felt the need to contribute positively to the world and was interested in the power of personal transformation. Johnny began educating himself about Social Dynamics and incorporating the concepts he learned into his day-to-day life. Soon after, he began coaching for a small Social Dynamics company out of Washington, DC; it was then that he met AJ & Jordan.

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