Dealing with a Breakup and Learning to Trust Again

Guys who are dealing with a breakup often think they’ll never be able to trust women again. But trusting women isn’t the issue. What’s important after a breakup is to regain trust in yourself. Once you have that, it’ll be easy to regain trust in women to the point where you’re excited and ready to start dating after the breakup. If you’re ready to rebuild that confidence and trust in yourself, check the following tips for men on getting over a breakup.

Dealing with a breakup by connecting with people
Relationships are one of the strongest predictors of happiness there is (if not THE strongest). If you want to get over a breakup and the depression that comes with it, then one of the best thing to do after a breakup is to focus on connecting with other people.

Use this time to reconnect with old friends – friends how may have fallen by the wayside during your relationship. Even a simple phone call to check in on how your friends are doing will strengthen those connections, boost your mood and self-esteem, and make it that much easier for you to get over the breakup.

The period where you’re getting over a breakup is also a perfect opportunity to make new friends. When you go out Friday nights (or whenever) your sole purpose should be to enjoy yourself and meet new people (both guys and girls). Having new friends and connections in your life is going to give you something positive to focus on and feel good about – and ultimately help you get over the breakup much quicker.

How to get over the breakup blues
A can’t-miss way to build confidence and improve your mood after a breakup is to get out there and exercise. Even a simple 30 minute walk each day would be a great start, as research shows that alone can dramatically increase your mood and overall happiness.

The important thing here is just to make sure you exercise regularly. Working out each day – even if it’s only for a little while – is going to do more in building confidence and improving your mood when getting over a breakup than one or two long workout sessions a week.

Hit the reset button when moving on from a breakup
If you’re going to move on from a breakup, you’ve got to move on from the breakup completely. Sever all ties from your ex-girlfriend – at least for now. Once this pain passes you may be able to re-engage with her as a friend, but for now the best way to get over your ex-girlfriend is to let her go completely.

So when dealing with a breakup, be sure to get rid of all the things that make you think about your ex. Both physical (that mug she left at your place) and non-physical (block her on your social media – and NEVER look to see what she’s up to). Cut off communication with her friends as well. If you’re going to get over this breakup and build confidence and trust in yourself, make it as easy on yourself by wiping the slate clean and starting over fresh.

Move on from your ex-girlfriend by getting selfish
The period where you’re getting over a breakup is a great time to focus on yourself and what you really want in life – OUTSIDE of women. For the time being, forget about trying to date after a breakup and simply focus your energy on doing things YOU enjoy that make YOU happy.

Dealing with a breakup is the perfect time to pursue hobbies and activities you enjoy. Take a cooking class, learn martial arts, study a new language…etc. If you’re struggling to think of something, check out and sign up for anything and everything that looks enjoyable. Make a great life for yourself outside of women and it will help you build confidence in yourself. From there, trusting women and dating after a breakup is going to be a whole lot easier. (This tip on how to get over a breakup for men was mentioned in the art of charm podcast with relationship expert Charles Orlando)

How to use social support to get over a breakup
Moving on after a breakup isn’t something you have to do alone. Now that you have some goals to focus on, enlist the help of friends to make sure you reach them.

Find a friend who is also looking to make personal change in his own life (it may be the same as yours, but doesn’t have to be) and support one another. Hold each other accountable for pursuing that new hobby- taking up that exercise regimen – being social on a Friday night, etc. Whatever your goals may be, having someone there to push and support you (while you do the same) will help you reach them.

By shifting your focus and energy towards these goals you’ll find increased confidence, happiness, and life satisfaction. It’ll supercharge your ability to get over the breakup. (For a deeper look on how to get over a breakup check out the Art of Charm Podcast on getting over a breakup)