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A Dating Guide for Shy Guys

Dating confidence is one of the biggest topics here at The Art of Charm. Even guys who have some kind of dating confidence want more — to say nothing of shy guys who cringe at the very idea of approaching a woman. However, this kind of self-confidence is something that any man can acquire. What’s more, it’s a lot easier than you think. Once you get this engine going, it’s basically going to start running itself. So how do you become the kind of confident man that you’ve always wanted to be when you’re shy?

The Road to Confidence in Dating, Step One: Setting Goals

Dating confidence is more accessible than you may realize. The first thing you need to do is set goals. Do you want to meet one girl a week? Make new friends? Start going on dates? Just approach women when you head out to bars and clubs? Spend some time thinking about exactly what it is that you want to get out of a night out at the club. This will help you to direct any actions you might take.

The Road to Confidence in Dating, Step Two: Pre-Gaming

Before you head out for the night there are a few things you can do to prime the pump for the evening:

  1. Bang out some moderate exercise or consider doing some progressive muscle relaxation coupled with fifteen minutes of quiet meditation.
  2. Put on some clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
  3. Listen to some music or stand-up comedy that puts you in a good mood, ready to be outgoing.
  4. Spend a few minutes visualizing success before you head out. It’s scientifically proven to increase your chances.

Is this a magic bullet? No. But it will make your life a lot easier when you actually head out for the night.

The Road to Confidence in Dating, Step Three: Pick a Place You Like

There’s no point in trying to make connections at a place where you don’t feel comfortable and confident. So when you’re selecting for a place to head out for the night, pick a place where you already feel comfortable. Alternately, select a new place that sounds fun and exciting, but you’ve never been to before. The blank canvas of this new locale might be just what you need to make things happen for you.

The Road to Confidence in Dating, Step Four: Entering Confidently

One point we’re always trying to hammer home here at The Art of Charm is that if you act confidently, people will treat you like a confident man, which will in turn make you feel more confident, which makes it easier for you to behave confidently. So get things started on the right foot by entering standing tall, shoulders back with a big smile on your face. High five people when you walk in the room, or clink glasses once you get a drink.

The Road to Confidence in Dating, Step Five: Approaching Immediately

When it comes to your approach the main thing is to do it immediately after you notice a girl. This will make you appear more confident — it’s a serious power move, as opposed to hanging around and waiting for the right minute to approach. Fortune favors the bold, and dating confidence is all about stepping out.

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